The last thing I want to read about is how smart Doug Gross is. We know, he tells us all the time. I really don’t need Doug telling me little insights about his relationship with Branstad either. To be honest when Doug said, “If one of us grunts, we know what the other means,” all sorts of strange images popped up in my head.

I’m just thankful they didn’t talk about Roederer’s love affair with Project Destiny, the failed property tax scam that would have been a taxpayer bailout of companies like Principle Financial. Its people like Gross and Roederer who make people like me queasy about Branstad’s return to politics.

In addition to Branstad’s campaign manager and running mate, the only other new names that were mentioned in the article were Bruce Rastetter, Roger Underwood, and Teresa Wahlert. These are not new names. Rastetter and Underwood is a long time GOP donors, and Whalert is basically Gross’ political sister as both had strong connections to Marvin Pomerantz.

We all know that these people are involved in the campaign, so this article doesn’t tell us a damn thing. What I want to know is why didn’t the Branstad campaign want to promote any new faces that are involved in his 2010 campaign?

If it were up to me, I would have talked about people like, Carmine Boal, who help shape policy for the campaign. What about the business leaders who participated in his Vision 2020 Policy Conference? Who advises him on social issues, immigration policy, and other issues? I would be truly interested in stuff like that.

I think the Branstad campaign has actually done a good job of reaching out to get new people involved, but you wouldn’t know it by reading this article. Instead, we learned that Doug Gross and Terry Branstad know what each other means when they grunt. Awesome. Where is my absentee ballot.

TMI

After reading this article, this is the image I have of the Branstad troika.

This is all normal, but Rep. Thomas used the gathering to help Governor Culver campaign against Terry Branstad. That is a gross misuse of taxpayer dollars and I would like Rep. Thomas to reimburse the state for the cost of this fiasco.

Rep. Thomas, you’re an idiot.

Lynda Waddington: Lynda is an unabashed liberal who writes for Tim Gill’s Iowa Independent website. Waddington and her liberal friends are desperate to find a way to lay the blame for enormous egg recall on the feet of Secretary of Agriculture Bill Northey. She calls Northey a “lapdog” because he is proud of the number of eggs we produce in Iowa.

Lynda is an idiot because she should focus her energy on Attorney General Tom Miller. Under the Branstad Administration, DeCoster was classified as a “habitual violator” of our environmental laws. Once Branstad was out of office, and Decoster cut Miller a $10,000 contribution to his campaign, DeCoster was back in business. I guess Miller is tough on big business except if you cut him a five-digit check.

Lynda you’re an idiot.

The Des Moines Register: Last Monday, The Iowa Independent wrote a story on Kim Lehman’s Tweet. The Tweet occurred Thursday, if you’ll remember. Then, that SAME Monday, The Des Moines Register’s Jenifer Jacobs writes about it. Seems to me if they cared about it, why didn’t they write it on Friday? Instead, The Iowa Independent picks up on it, and all of a sudden they are compelled to write a story? THREE days after it occurred?

Then last Thursday, The Iowa Independent writes a story about Clear Channel sending a statement distancing themselves from Jan Mickelson’s AIDS comments. Like clockwork, Jason Clayworth writes it in the Des Moines Register.

If the Register has begun getting their news ideas from a Gill-Soros-funded site and churning them into their own, this should send shivers up and down our spines and alarm all of us.

The Register isn’t just a bunch of idiots. This shows just how bad their political team really is over there.

I really don’t care about Mehlman’s sexual preference. I don’t agree with it, and I think it’s not natural. The reason I’m writing about Mehlman is because I fear the end is near for traditional marriage as we used to know it.

In recent weeks, a number of prominent Republicans or conservative news personalities have either endorsed gay marriage or said they are not bothered by it. Next month Sen. John Cornyn and Rep. Pete Sessions are scheduled to speak at the Log Cabin Republican dinner in DC. Sessions and Cornyn are leading the efforts in the House and Senate this cycle.

What worries me is that as more and more Republicans either come out of the closet like Mehlman or embrace the behavior like Glenn Beck, Joe Scarborough, and Republican leaders like Sessions and Cornyn, it becomes more and more difficult to defend traditional marriage.

This is why Iowans should be focused on reinstating traditional marriage as soon as possible instead of chasing rabbit trails. Time is running out, and I can see a scenario where we boot some judges, but do nothing to reinstate traditional marriage in Iowa. That’s winning a battle, but losing the war.

Christmas Caroling with Former Iowa Congressman Fred Grandy

I expect that the November elections will bring plenty of good will and cheer to Republicans this year. So what better way to spread our joy than to organize a statewide Christmas Caroling tour around the state? Congressman Gopher has already written our jingle, and I’m sure our National Committee woman will gladly join us as we sing Gopher’s new song, “Obama is a Muslim.”

OK, I think I’ve caused enough trouble today.

In case you live under a rock and don’t know what I’m talking about, Kim Lehman, Iowa’s Republican National Committeewoman, recently tweeted that President Obama is a Muslim.  Actually what she said was, “@politico you’re funny. They must pay you a lot to protect Obama. BTW he personally told the muslims that he IS a muslim. Read his lips.”

The problem with Lehman’s tweet is that the President clearly stated that he is a Christian, in the speech that she was referring to.  Now look, I know a lot of people who think Obama is either a Muslim, socialist, communist, smart, hardworking, or even the anti-Christ.  The difference between my friends and Kim Lehman is that they are not member of the Republican National Committee.

I think Lehman’s tweet is being blown out of proportion, but she does need to realize that the media is just waiting for comments like this.  She needs to be more careful.  One would have thought she would have learned this lesson after the fiasco she created with Miller-Meeks in the 2nd Congressional District.

Just like he comments about Miller-Meeks, her comments are an unnecessary distraction seven weeks before the election.  At a time when Republicans should be laser focused on winning over independents and conservative Democrats by talking about debt, bloated government, and jobs, we now find ourselves talking about Kim Lehman calling Obama a Muslim.

Folks, Obama isn’t on the ballot this fall.  Instead of talking about him, lets talk about the issues that really matter.  Lets talk about the differences between our Republican candidates and the Democrats they are running again.  If you want to talk about Obama being a Muslim, being the National Committeewoman might not be the best position for you.

Now before you go off on me for piling on, it’s not Zaun who’s the idiot, it’s the six people who he beat in the 3rd District Congressional primary. I know that everyone hates negative campaigning, but the reason Zaun has to deal with these attacks from Boswell now is because none of his opponents brought them up in the primary.

One of the necessary functions of a primary is to properly vet the candidates. That obviously didn’t happen, and now Zaun has to deal with Boswell and the Democrats airing his dirty laundry now instead of months ago. Getting attacked on these issues now hurts worse that had this things been brought up when nobody was paying attention during a primary

I know everyone felt great about how all the 3rd CD candidates treated each other, but they are idiots and did the nominee a disservice. If they had raised these issues before the primary Zaun would either not me the nominee or he wouldn’t have to talk about this crap now, because he would have had to explain these things before the primary. The story would have been dead as soon as he won his primary.

Chet Culver: Culver’s campaign thinks that they are going to score points against Terry Branstad by demanding him to tell people what I-Jobs projects he would cut. It’s not a bad idea on Culver’s part, the only problem is that Branstad campaign is smarter than that. They are very wisely showing people who much debt they will have to pay back in exchange for the thousands of dollars Chet is in the area passing out.

Culver is an idiot for wanting to talk about I-Jobs. Dude should look at his press clippings from the past two months.

El Pollo Hombre: Once again Mark Chelgren, who is running for Keith Kreiman, makes the list, but isn’t an idiot. The Des Moines Register ran a story exposing Chelgren’s alter ego – RAGBRAI’s Chickenman.

For those of you who don’t know, Chickenman is known for his spontaneous beer bashes along the route. His bus is really just one huge beer truck. The Register claims that he once bought 70 kegs. Lets just pray to God it wasn’t all Keystone. The Register also noted that Chickenman is also known for riding nude for an hour or so everyday during his trip across Iowa.

Besides the fact that riding a bicycle nude is kinda dangerous, I guess you can say he’s offering the voters more transparency than they are getting with Kreiman.

I also think its hard not to like this guy. Just read what he told Jennifer Jacobs of the Register.

“Chickenman was a wonderful persona when I’d go on vacation and meet people. In my life now, even though I still go on RAGBRAI and I’m still Chickenman, I am first and foremost a father and a businessman, and I take that seriously.”

I’m sure Gronstal and Kreiman are getting a laugh out of this story, but I don’t know if Chelgren being outed as Chickenman is going to hurt him, in fact it might help him. People are sick and tired of politicians who are unresponsive or think too highly of themselves. This might be a time when the voters send a message this fall and send a guy like Chelgren to Des Moines. If that happens, I’m going to apply to be his clerk.

Thanks to Chelgren, I now know what to expect if I ever run for office. It is my hope that he breaks that glass ceiling for all those who suffer by having a cool alter ego/

“I also want you to know that we’ve worked very hard.  I’ve been to Cedar Rapids, Iowa, nearly 100 times fighting on flood-recovery efforts and I have continued to do everything in my power every day as governor to get the job done and to get this state moving forward, and so despite some of the mistakes, despite some of the challenges in historic proportions that we’re dealing with, we’re still moving Iowa forward.”

“I want to say that some of that criticism is justified and that we have made our fair share of mistakes, and I take full responsibility for those things that have happened in various state agencies, that happened on my watch and I take responsibility for those mistakes that have been made.”

It seems to me that Culver wants to be that pudgy kid who isn’t that smart or athletically gifted that people feel sorry for.  The problem Culver faces is that Iowans just want someone who can get the job done.  He of all people should realize that while people might feel sorry for that pudgy kid, they don’t let him play quarterback.

As Iowa’s governor, Culver has grown the size of government, carved out special rights for people based on behavior, raised taxes, forced local governments to raise property taxes, forced schools to spend their reserve funds, mismanaged the state budget, and indebted future generations of Iowans. If that wasn’t bad enough, his administration has been plagued by numerous scandals that have costs taxpayers money.

I’m glad the guy is admitting that he has made some mistakes, but that will do nothing to help him with his re-election campaign this fall.  Culver has proved beyond a reasonable doubt that he is unfit and unable to lead the state of Iowa.

It seems like Culver and his campaign team are beginning to realize what regular Iowans figured out a year ago – that new leadership is needed Des Moines.  At this point Culver would be better off just traveling the state on a goodbye tour and start packing up some things in his office.

Chelgren defended his event to the media by saying, “Our founders sat around and drank beer and talked about how to make the country a better place. So to me, it was a very natural extension to talking about politics having a drink listening to some good music.”

He’s absolutely right. Plus, with Kim Reynolds, Erik Helland, Roxanne Conlin, and my good buddy Kerry Burt all having DUI’s, he probably think this is a good political move. If you are wondering why he’s on the idiot list then, it’s because he bought 20 kegs of Keystone. That stuff suck, but hey, it is Ottumwa.

Chelgren is also an idiot for not sending me an invite.

Glenn Beck: Beck says that gay marriage is no big deal, and that there are more important issues to focus on. Look, I understand that the dude lives on the east coast and has had his own problems to deal with, but his position on gay marriage means one thing, he’s not a conservative. A conservative would realize that the breakdown of the family has coincided with the rapids expansion of government in this country.

This commentary is really less about calling Beck an idiot and more about calling all of those people who idolize the guy idiots. Here is a simple rule to follow, don’t idolize members of the media, especially if they live on the east coast. People like Bill O’Reilly and Glenn Beck have made a ton of money being “conservatives,” but they are not social conservatives. That we know for sure by simply looking at how they live their lives.

Beck is an idiot for not understanding the simple premise that if we don’t support and live by traditional values the government will swoop in and take over the families roll. Fans of Beck are idiots for treating this guy like some kind of profit. He’s not. He’s just an uneducated alcoholic who can cry on demand when talking about how much he loves his country.

Roxanne Conlin: Roxanne was trying to earn the support of the Meskwaki Indians when she attended their annual powwow this weekend. I guess I don’t really understand how this all works, but isn’t the settlement its own sovereign nation? Oh, they just imply that so they don’t have to pay taxes and can build casinos.

Anyway, I want to know when Roxanne is going to spend some time trying to earn the support of regular Iowans? I forgot, normal Iowans don’t support her according to the polls we saw last week. Conlin is an idiot for believing that she could knock off Grassley this year. If she is willing to spend all of her money on something as useless as a US Senate campaign, what do you think she would do with our tax dollars?

Senator Tom Harkin: Tom finally got a glimpse of the drained Lake Delhi last week. Harkin, who is never a loss for words offered up the following analysis, “That’s quite a big hole there.” Wow, I’m sure all of those affected by the failure of the dam feel comforted after hearing your remarks Senator. Nice.

The problem with any program like I-Jobs is that there will never be enough money to or government to protect us. Trust me, I-Jobs wasn’t created to help tame the Maquoketa River, Squaw Creek in Ames, or the smaller creeks around Des Moines. If I-Jobs is so great and necessary to prevent flooding, then why isn’t Culver calling for its expansion following the 5th or 6th record floods in the last 10 years?

Culver and the Democrats are idiots for making I-Jobs about flood control. Sure it plays well with all those Democrats in Cedar Rapids and Iowa County, but it isn’t going to do a damn thing for anyone else.

Des Moines City Manager Rick Clark: If I was a Des Moines taxpayer I’d be red hot. Apparently the city is providing its 2000 employees tickets and food vouchers to the Iowa State Fair at a cost of $40,000.

Look, I know you have to do some things to keep your employee’s happy from time to time, but isn’t having a job that provides excellent benefits good enough in these difficult times?

Rick Clark is an idiot for wasting tax dollars on stupid crap like fired Twinkies. Watch that buffoon Culver take the idea and offer it to the thousands of state employees.

Kathie Obradovich: I was downtown the other day and one of the DART busses honked at me. I thought it was odd, but then I noticed that the side of the bus had an advertisement for Kathie’s column, claiming that she offers the best political coverage in the state.

I kind of laughed when I read that, especially when you consider that Kathie took a June vacation, a mid-July road trip, and another vacation this week. It’s got to be hard to provide all of that great coverage when you are on vacation all of the time. I guess I’ll stop feeling bad when I skip a couple days.

Levi Johnston: Talk about a media whore. The only one that is even close to being on his level is President Obama. I saw on E! last night that Levi is considering running for mayor of Wasilla. Heck, he would probably be better than Rick Clark.

Last week Levi appeared in a Brittani Senser music video. Senser obvious just wanted some media attention to sell a few more records. This all comes after Levi and Bristol Palin reunited for all of 5 minutes.

Levi is a loser and needs to get a job. What an idiot.

I find it a little odd that it’s a requirement for anyone who wants to be the leader of the free world to partake in the Iowa State Fair. In 2007, every serious candidate running for president attended. This year’s VIP list includes Minnesota Governor Tim Pawlenty, former U.S. Senator Rick Santorum, Newt Gingrich, and don’t be surprised if Haley Barbour doesn’t swing buy when he’s in town this week either.

I’m sure there will be even more presidential hopefuls who drop by, but I have not done a good job of keeping track of everyone who is coming. The fair is a great Iowa experience and it provides them a little glimpse of what Iowan’s are good at – drinking, eating fatty foods, wondering around with no real sense of where we are going.

The candidates also come to the fair to have a chat with Jan Mickelson on WHO Radio. An interview with Mickelson is not as easy as eating one of those giant smoked turkey legs. It’s a challenge, and sometimes it can taint your entire Iowa campaign, which is why we probably will not see Mitt Romney anywhere near WHO’s Crystal Studio this year.

In all seriousness, Iowans are lucky to have such and incredible fair. Obviously, I’m looking forward to seeing and listening to the guys who want my vote in the caucuses in 2012, but I’ll take one of those pork chops on a stick in the process.

1. I love the fact that I compared Vander Plaats to Brett Favre yesterday then a few hours later he announces a press conference.  Seriously, this might be the best analogy I’ve ever made.
2. If the news reports that say Vander Plaats is going to lead an effort to boot three of the Supreme Court Justices is true, and he’s not going to run for governor as an independent, that’s good news.  It’s good for Vander Plaats people who want a strong leader to rail against judicial activism and its good for the party establishment who don’t want Vander Plaats to peel votes away from Branstad.
3. It seems like maybe Bob read my article that talked about zero sum negotiating. All and All I think it’s a good deal.  It’s exactly what I wrote about a month a go when I said the following:The problem with Vander Plaats negotiating tactics is that he’s not willing to give anything up.  The only thing Bob is willing to give Branstad is himself, and a promise that such a move would unite the party.  Yet if you listen to Bob, he is still going to go out and campaign for his executive order and all that jazz.  So what he is really offering Branstad is a big headache.
4. I could care less if Bob ever endorses Branstad or not.  I know that will be the focus of the news coverage today, but it’s not important.  All I care about is that he doesn’t do anything to help reelect Chet Culver.That said, if the Republican Governor’s Association is pumping some coin into Vander Plaats’ effort then it tells us a couple things about Bob.

   a. While he is unwilling to publically endorse, he basically has made a deal with the RGA/Branstad campaign, so don’t be fooled.  That’s an endorsement it itself.

   b. I don’t want to be a party pooper, but if that’s the case then it really makes it seem that Vander Plaats really just wanted a paid gig.  For all you     people who listen to the radio, that’s another way to say he sold out for a seat at the table.  He wanted asked to be the LG nominee, he then ran to be the LG nominee, and now the RGA is basically going to pay him to travel around the state to talk about judges.

Today’s announcement shows us that Vander Plaats finally agreed to negotiate.  He will give up his quest for his executive order and will no longer be hostile to Branstad in exchange for some financial resources.  I think it’s a good deal.  Too bad it took till August to get it done.