Taken from The Onion

I cleaned up one “F-word” and hope I didn’t miss any others. If I did, I apologize in advance.

——————

Congress Deadlocked Over How To Not Provide Health CareAugust 18, 2009 | Issue 45•34
Leaders on both sides of the aisle try to hammer out an agreement on screwing over Americans.
Article Tools
Digg Facebook Stumbleupon via @TheOnion – Congress Deadlocked Over How To Not Provide Health Care Twitter Reddit Email
To:

From:

Print Related ArticlesCongress Allocates $1.4 Billion For Development Of Inner-City Youths’ Rhyming, Dribbling Skills
03.04.98
Nevada Gaming Commission Lobbies Congress For Just $20 Million ‘Til Friday
08.23.00
Related MediaSlideshow: Congress
08.18.09
Onion News Network: Study: Most Children Strongly Opposed To Children’s Healthcare
06.17.08
WASHINGTON—After months of committee meetings and hundreds of hours of heated debate, the United States Congress remained deadlocked this week over the best possible way to deny Americans health care.
“Both parties understand that the current system is broken,” House Speaker Nancy Pelosi told reporters Monday. “But what we can’t seem to agree upon is how to best keep it broken, while still ensuring that no elected official takes any political risk whatsoever. It’s a very complicated issue.”
“Ultimately, though, it’s our responsibility as lawmakers to put these differences aside and focus on refusing Americans the health care they deserve,” Pelosi added.
The legislative stalemate largely stems from competing ideologies deeply rooted along party lines. Democrats want to create a government-run system for not providing health care, while Republicans say coverage is best denied by allowing private insurers to make it unaffordable for as many citizens as possible.
“We have over 40 million people without insurance in this country today, and that is unacceptable,” Sen. Orrin Hatch (R-UT) said. “If we would just quit squabbling so much, we could get that number up to 50 or even 100 million. Why, there’s no reason we can’t work together to deny health care to everyone but the richest 1 percent of the population.”
“That’s what America is all about,” he added.
House Minority Leader John Boehner (R-OH) said on Meet The Press that Republicans would never agree to a plan that doesn’t allow citizens the choice to be denied medical care in the private sector.
“Americans don’t need some government official telling them they don’t have the proper coverage to receive treatment,” Boehner said. “What they need is massive insurance companies to become even more rich and powerful by withholding from average citizens the care they so desperately require. We’re talking about people’s health and the obscene profits associated with that, after all.”
Though there remain irreconcilable points, both parties have reached some common ground in recent weeks. Senate leaders Harry Reid (D-NV) and Mitch McConnell (R-KY) point to Congress’ failure to pass legislation before a July 31 deadline as proof of just how serious lawmakers are about stringing along the American people and never actually reforming the health care industry in any meaningful way.
“People should know that every day we are working without their best interests in mind,” Reid said. “But the goal here is not to push through some watered-down bill that only denies health care to a few Americans here and a few Americans there. The goal is to recognize that all Americans have a God-given right to proper medical attention and then make sure there’s no chance in hell that ever happens.”
“No matter what we come up with,” Reid continued, “rest assured that millions of citizens will remain dangerously uninsured, and the inflated health care industry will continue to bankrupt the country for decades.”
Other lawmakers stressed that, while there has been some progress, the window of cooperation was closing.
“When you get into the nuts and bolts of how best not to provide people with care essential to their survival, there are many things to take into consideration,” Rep. Michele Bachmann (R-MN) said. “I believe we can create a plan for Americans that allows them to not be able to go to the hospital, not get the treatment they need, and ultimately whither away and die. But we’ve got to act fast.”
For his part, President Barack Obama claimed to be optimistic, even saying he believes that a health care denial bill will pass in both houses of Congress by the end of the year.
“We have an opportunity to do something truly historic in 2009,” Obama said to a mostly silent crowd during a town hall meeting in Virginia yesterday. “I promise I will only sign a clear and comprehensive health care bill that fully denies coverage to you, your sick mother, her husband, middle-class Americans, single-parent households, the unemployed, and most importantly, anyone in need of emergency medical attention.”
“This administration is committed to not providing health care,” Obama added. “Not just for this generation of Americans, but for many generations to come.”

Silence

Silence

The study, done by George Washington University professor Brian Biles, estimates that the average Medicare Advantage client will cost taxpayers $1,074 more in 2007.

The program was designed to reduced costs, largely through increased competition.

Medicare Payment Advisory Commission, an independent group that advises Congress, recently reported that the government pays 12 percent more on average to private Medicare plans than to treat comparable beneficiaries through traditional Medicare.

Elimination of excessive subsidies to the program would save nearly $150 billion in 10 years, which could improve total Medicare coverage and lower prescription drug costs, Obama said.

Now for the rational people, here are some stats from pricewaterhouse on where savings can be made in the healthcare system to help offset the cost of a public option. Last time I check, pricewaterhouse is not exactly know as some liberal group.

Silence

More than $1.2 trillion spent on health care each year is a waste of money. Members of the medical community identify the leading causes.

Down the drain: $1.2 trillion.

That’s half of the $2.2 trillion the United States spends on health care each year, according to the most recent data from accounting firm PricewaterhouseCoopers’ Health Research Institute.

What counts as waste? The report identified 16 different areas in which health care dollars are squandered. But in talking to doctors, nurses, hospital groups and patient advocacy groups, six areas totaling nearly $500 billion stood out as issues to be dealt with in the health care reform debate.

Too Many Tests

More from CNNMoney.com:

• U.S. Doctor Shortage: Who Should Fill It?

• Free Medical School for 40 Lucky Students

• Family Doctors: An Endangered Breed

Doctors ordering tests or procedures not based on need but concern over liability or increasing their income is the biggest waste of health care dollars, costing the system at least $210 billion a year, according to the report. The problem is called “defensive medicine.”

“Sometimes the motivation is to avoid malpractice suits, or to make more money because they are compensated more for doing more,” said Dr. Arthur Garson, provost of the University of Virginia and former dean of its medical school. “Many are also convinced that doing more tests is the right thing to do.”

“But any money that is spent on a patient that doesn’t improve the outcome is a waste,” said Garson.

Some conservatives have suggested that capping malpractice awards would help solve the problem.

President Obama doesn’t agree; instead, his reform proposal encourages doctors to practice “evidence-based” guidelines as a way to scale back on unnecessary tests.

Those Annoying Claim Forms

Inefficient claims processing is the second-biggest area of wasteful expenditure, costing as much as $210 billion annually, the PricewaterhouseCoopers report said.

More from Yahoo! Finance:

• 5 Freedoms You’d Lose in Health Care Reform

• What Health Reform Means for You

• Is the U.S. Becoming More Like Europe?

——————————————————————————–
Visit the Insurance Center

“We spend a lot of time and money trying to get paid by insurers,” said Dr. Terry McGenney, a Kansas City, Mo.-based family physician.

“Every insurance company has its own forms,” McGenney said. “Some practices spend 40% of their revenue filling out paperwork that has nothing to do with patient care. So much of this could be automated.”

Dr. Jason Dees, a family doctor in a private practice based in New Albany, Miss., said his office often resubmits claims that have been “magically denied.”

“That adds to our administrative fees, extends the payment cycle and hurts our cash flow,” he said.

Dees also spends a lot of time getting “pre-certification” from insurers to approve higher-priced procedures such as MRIs. “We’re already operating on paper-thin margins and this takes times away from our patients,” he said.

Susan Pisano, spokeswoman for America’s Health Insurance Plans, said “hundreds of billions” of dollars can be saved by standardizing procedures and using technology — something the White House has mentioned as a key to health care reform.

“For that to happen, we need the technology,” she said. “Doctors and hospitals must adopt the technology, and we have to develop rules for exchanging of information between doctors, hospitals and health plans.”

Pisano said the industry is launching a pilot program later this year that will allow physicians to communicate with all health plans using a standardized process.

Using the ER as a Clinic

More insured and uninsured consumers are getting their primary care in emergency rooms, wasting $14 billion every year in health care spending.

“This is an inappropriate use of the ER,” said Dee Swanson, president of the American Academy of Nurse Practitioners. “You don’t go to the ER for strep throat.”

Since emergency rooms are legally obligated to treat all patients, Swanson said providers ultimately find ways to pass on the cost for treating the uninsured to other patients, such as to those who pay out-of-pocket for their medical care.

Dees also took issue with consumers who don’t get primary care for their diabetes or blood pressure on a timely basis, hence finding themselves in the ER.

“Going to the doctor for strep throat would cost $65-$70. In the ER, it’s $600 to $800,” he said.

The $787 billion stimulus bill signed passed by President Obama earlier this year includes allocates $1 billion for a wellness and prevention fund, including $300 million for immunizations and $650 million for prevention programs to combat the rapid growth in chronic diseases such as obesity and diabetes.

Medical “Oops”

Medical errors are costing the industry $17 billion a year in wasted expenses, something that makes patient advocacy groups irate.

“Do we have a good health IT system in place to prevent this?” asked Kim Bailey, senior health policy analyst with consumer advocacy group Families USA.

Bailey suggested that processes such as computerized order entry for drugs and use of electronic health records (EHR) could help ensure that patients get the correct dosage of medications in hospitals.

The stimulus bill calls for the government to take a leading role in developing standards by 2010 to facilitate the adoption of health information exchanges across the system, including patient electronic health records by 2014.

Obama has repeatedly said that the use of technology in the health sector will help boost savings, enhance the coordination of care and reduce medical errors and unnecessary procedures.

Going Back to the Hospital

Bailey suggested that processes such as computerized order entry for drugs and use of electronic health records (EHR) could help ensure that patients get the correct dosage of medications in hospitals. Discharging patients too soon is a “huge waste of money,” said Swanson.

“This happens a lot with elderly patients who are discharged prematurely because of insurance, bed unavailability or ageism,” she said.

Many times, patients also don’t follow instructions for care after discharge. “So complications arise and they are readmitted in a week,” Swanson said.

PricewaterhouseCoopers estimates the cost of preventable hospital readmissions at $25 billion annually.

Among the reform plans, one proposal being considered is for Medicare to potentially penalize hospitals who readmit patients within 30 days of discharge.

You Forgot to Wash Your Hands!

Those ubiquitous dispensers of hand sanitizer are in hospitals for a reason: PricewaterhouseCoopers estimates that about $3 billion is wasted every year as a result of infections acquired during hospital stays.

“The general belief is that hospitals are getting much better in managing this than they have in the past,” said Richard Clarke, CEO of Healthcare Financial Management Association, whose members include hospitals and managed care organizations.

Something as simple as hand-washing often can reduce the problem.

“Sometimes doctors are the most difficult people to convince to do this,” said Clarke. “The challenge here is that patients sometimes come in with infections which then spread in the hospital.”

The stimulus bill signed by Obama earlier this year includes $50 million for reducing health care-associated infections.

Other areas of waste identified in the PricewaterhouseCoopers report included up to $493 billion related to risky behavior such as smoking, obesity and alcohol abuse, $21 billion in staffing turnover, $4 billion in prescriptions written on paper, and $1 billion in the over-prescribing of antibiotics.

Silence

Ehh, CB and L are OK, just so’s we never end up with our party being led by a couple angry egos like Limbuggerer and Palin.

Silence

Silence

I see why you guys are called the Victim Party. You are just a bunch of Charlie Browns and your leaders are all Lucy’s.