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December 21st, 2014
 

Kevin’s Korner: My Christmas List for the Political World

Christmas gifts

Greetings and welcome to Kevin’s Korner. And the angel said to them, “Fear not, for behold, I bring you good news of great joy that will be for all the people.

It is the Christmas season and I’m in the giving mood. I’ve made my list and checked it twice. Whether you were naughty or nice, I’ve come up with apropos presents for those political figures.

For Bruce Braley: 2014’s worst candidate in the country merits three gifts: A towel, a really, really big name tag so his Democrat friends won’t call him by the wrong name anymore, and a huge brood of chickens.

For Hillary Clinton: One of President Obama’s teleprompters that she can take with her everywhere, because when Queen Hillary goes off script, she is a disaster.

For Senator Chuck Grassley: I’d like to get him the chairmanship on the Senate Judiciary Committee, but Bruce Braley already giftwrapped that present for Grassley. So I’d like to give the hardest working senator in the country continued good health.

For Governor Terry Branstad: An extremely successful sixth term.

For John Boehner and Mitch McConnell: Steel rods to insert into their spines so they actually have some backbone in 2015.

For Barack Obama: The Complete Idiots Guide to the U.S. Constitution.

For Senator-elect Joni Ernst:A very sharp surgical knife to help her cut the pork in Washington.

For Congressman–elect David Young: A new bag of magic tricks to fool those fools in D.C. into voting for good legislation, or repealing the bad.

For Congressman-elect Rod Blum: Video of his next Democrat challenger that is every bit as devastating as the Angry Pat Murphy ads.

For the Republican Party of Iowa: A blockbuster summer festival attended by all the GOP presidential hopefuls, with or without a straw poll.

For Republican Party of Iowa Chairman Jeff Kaufmann: A xanax.

For Congressman Steve King: A megaphone.

For Congressman King’s liberal detractors: A month-long stay in a room where you’re forced to listen nothing but King’s speeches on a continuous loop.

For Jeb Bush:A path to the GOP nomination without going through Iowa because I don’t believe that path exists here. (Not meant to imply I want Bush to get the nomination.)

For the Iowa Legislature: A solution to funding the state’s much needed infrastructure upgrades without raising taxes.

For Sam Clovis: A continued prominent role in the Republican Party.

For the Paulistinians: A clue.

For Iowa Democrats:Viable candidates to challenge Queen Hillary in the Iowa Caucus. And a clue.

For 2016 GOP presidential hopefuls: A roadmap to all 99 Iowa counties. You want to win the caucuses? You spend time visiting with voters in every county. That’s how it’s done.

For Shane Vander Hart: A full day without writing about Common Core.

For Tom Harkin: A one-way ticket to Cuba.

For Sony: The testicular fortitude to not cower in fear at the threats of terrorists ever again.

For Jack Hatch: An IRS audit.

For ISIS and other jihadist groups and their sympathizers: Your own special circle in hell.

For my family, friends and all TIR readers: A wonderful Christmas season filled with love, happiness and the spirit of the season.

For everyone: Remembrance of what this season is truly all about.

That’s it for this week. Thanks for dropping by. For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life.


About the Author

Kevin Hall
Kevin Hall brings almost two decades of journalistic experience to TheIowaRepublican. Starting in college as a radio broadcaster, Hall eventually became a television anchor/reporter for stations in North Carolina, Missouri, and Iowa. During the 2007 caucus cycle, Hall changed careers and joined the political realm. He was the northwest Iowa field director for Fred Thompson's presidential campaign. Hall helped Terry Branstad return to the governor's office by organizing southwest Iowa for Branstad's 2010 campaign. Hall serves as a reporter/columnist for TheIowaRepublican.com.




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