News Center

July 15th, 2012
 

Kevin’s Korner: Cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs, R3volution Routed, and Who’s the VP?

Greetings and welcome to Kevin’s Korner. All aboard and get ready for a wild ride.

Dear Randi Shannon: Go sell crazy someplace else. We’re all stocked up here

How do I write Paulistinians so well? Easy. I think of Republicans, and I take away reason and accountability … I’ve been accused of occasionally being a little too hard on the Ron Paul crowd. Then Mrs. Shannon comes along and shows everything I’ve been saying is right … This delusional nonsense she published Friday makes Shannon a Paulistinian personified. Far, far removed from reality … To clarify again, not all Ron Paul supporters are Paulistinians. But all Paulistinians are Ron Paul supporters…

Here’s my question for Randi Shannon: Even in your alternate government reality, how do you just get appointed “U.S. Senator”? Was there some sort of election? … Cult ceremonies don’t count … Can I join up and appoint myself a title? Nothing big. Something fitting a man of my stature, like Knight of Ni? Or Duke of Des Moines? How about Ambassador to Alderaan? I hear it’s beautiful there this time of year…

Look lady, if you want run off the rails and join the circus, that’s fine. But you should not have put your name on the ballot to represent the actual government … Ya know, the one “We the People” vote for … You betrayed the people who supported your campaign. You betrayed the Iowa Senate Republicans who want to win that important seat. You betrayed your fellow Paulistinians who prefer the world doesn’t know how cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs some of them are…

Of course, the “liberty” movement was quick to try to distance itself from Randi Shannon, but not quite quick enough. Liberty Iowa PAC deleted any mentions of Shannon from their website. Unfortunately for them, before they could do that, I took this screen shot. For posterity’s sake…

While they’re at it, Liberty Iowa PAC might want to re-word their “Featured Candidates” page, particularly these lines: “Liberty Iowa is extremely selective in choosing candidates”, “all of our candidates are thoroughly vetted” … And don’t even get me started on Jake Highfill

Honestly, Randi Shannon’s crack-up might be the best thing that could happen for the Iowa GOP. Shannon stood no chance against Liz Mathis in Senate District 34. There are some solid potential candidates in that district who have an opportunity to make that race competitive. Hopefully one gets chosen in the special nominating convention …

More bad news for Shannon and her fellow Paulistinians Ron Paul’s hopes of being nominated at the national convention came to an end Saturday … Yes, sane people, our long national nightmare is over. Paul needed to secure majority of delegates in at least five states in order to be placed in nomination. Nebraska was his last chance. Cooter Ray and his fellow Huskers got something right, for once …

The Ronulans fell way short of capturing the majority of Nebraska’s national delegates. In fact, they only garnered two of the 35 slots, which, for once, is about in line with the very low percentage of votes he actually received in a state (9.9%) …

So after all their nonsense, after all the legal threats, backroom deals, convention crashing and assorted douchebaggery, the Paulistinians failed to secure Ron Paul a speaking slot at the national convention, they failed to get his name placed in nomination, they failed to win single state, they even failed to win Paul’s own congressional district … Oh yeah, and they failed to keep Rand Paul inside the cuckoo’s nestViva RIP la R3volution!

Sadly, the Paulistinians don’t have the market cornered on lunacy. There’s the Christie Vilsack supporter in Clear Lake who threatened to infect a voter with AIDS if he didn’t leave a Vilsack event that was publicized as open to the public  … The word on the street is, when asked for comment, Vilsack said she is neither for or against infecting people with AIDS

In other news, this is perhaps the most accurate headline ever written by the DM Register

Yep, Barack was back in town last week … A few days later, Obama was asked by CBS what was the biggest mistake he’s made as president. His answer? Not telling better stories. Seriously … Which stories did you want to tell, Mr. President? The one about the hooker with dysentery?

Those Dems. Their hypocrisy knows no bounds. DNC Chair Debbie Wasserman Schultz held a press conference slamming Mitt Romney for not releasing all of his tax forms. It turns out Congresswoman Wasserman Schultz has never released any of her tax returns:

A July 4th I-Cubs game at Principal Park was no Field of Dreams for Leonard Boswell. He apparently had to be physically removed from the field … Someone who would know about the happenings at Principal Park wrote about the desperation for attention by the soon-to-be ex-Congressman … Ol’ Leonard, tried to crash a non-political swearing in ceremony for 29 new citizens prior to the game. Boswell had already been told he was not welcome, but barged onto the field anyway and disrupted the proceedings … An I-Cubs official grabbed Leonard by the elbow and shooed him off the field …

Governor Branstad will be one of the guests Sunday morning on “Fox News Sunday”, with my old favorite Brit Hume filling in as the host … Florida Governor Rick Scott will also be on hand … Branstad and Scott have both said they plan to reject the ObamaCare Medicaid blackmail scheme, so I’m sure that will be one of the hot topics … Hopefully, there will be no carrots in the green room …

Lots of chatter this week about who Mitt Romney’s VP pick will be, with Drudge claiming Condi Rice is the frontrunner … This served as a smart little distraction by the Romney campaign to send the media on a wild goose chase and get them to stop talking about Bain … Rice will not get the nod, nor does she want it. She despises politics … Rice also says she’s “mildly pro-choice”. The surest was to guarantee a Romney defeat is to choose a non-conservative …

Personally, I think Louisiana Governor Bobby Jindal makes the most sense. However, I think Romney will do what he always does: play it safe. That means someone totally vanilla. It doesn’t get anymore more vanilla than Tim Pawlenty. I suspect Mitt will pick TPaw or Rob Portman.

Finally, Kobe Bryant thinks the 2012 U.S. Olympic basketball team could beat the 1992 Dream TeamDream on, Kobe. There has never been, nor will there ever be, a greater assemblage of players on one team than the ’92 Dream Team. Jordan, Magic, Bird, Mailman, Robinson, Stockton, Ewing, Sir Charles, Drexler, Pippin, Mullen, and Laettner … OK, forget Laettner … Still, other than Kobe and Lebron, most of the 2012 team wouldn’t even earn a spot on the ’92 team.

That’s it for this week. If you are afraid of failure you don’t deserve to be successful.


About the Author

Kevin Hall
Kevin Hall brings almost two decades of journalistic experience to TheIowaRepublican. Starting in college as a radio broadcaster, Hall eventually became a television anchor/reporter for stations in North Carolina, Missouri, and Iowa. During the 2007 caucus cycle, Hall changed careers and joined the political realm. He was the northwest Iowa field director for Fred Thompson's presidential campaign. Hall helped Terry Branstad return to the governor's office by organizing southwest Iowa for Branstad's 2010 campaign. Hall serves as a reporter/columnist for TheIowaRepublican.com.




blog comments powered by Disqus