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January 8th, 2012

Kevin’s Korner: Caucus Counting, Curb Stomping and Random Questions

Greetings and welcome to Kevin’s Korner. After much thought and deliberation, I’ve decided that I am not what I am.

Although it looks like Mitt Romney was indeed credited with 20 more votes than he earned in Appanoose County, Iowa GOP Chairman Matt Strawn says that discrepancy will not change the outcome of the Iowa Caucus, which Romney won by 8 votes over Rick Santorum … RPI will take two weeks to certify the votes …  I think it behooves them to go through all the numbers very carefully to make sure the results are accurate. They also need to be very open about exactly what the errors were, where they occurred, and who made them.

For those who suspect some kind of chicanery, I have no doubts about the honor of Matt Strawn and Executive Director Chad Olsen. I believe they will do everything to maintain the integrity of the Iowa Caucus … Some human error was bound to happen. However, that also means somebody’s got some splainin’ to do.

One of the most interesting statistics from Tuesday is the county-by-county breakdown. It shows Santorum won 62 counties, Paul 18, Romney 17, and Perry 2. … I’ll say it again … The 99-county tour, if done the right way (i.e. not Bachmann-like), is a time tested and proven path to victory.

The Funniest Moment of Caucus Night: FOX’s Carl Cameron was doing a live shot when the Romney staff found out they won and started hollerin’ and chanting in the background. Campaign Carl thought they were Occupiers. His back and forth with the FOX folks was hilarious.

Now, for the Most Disgusting Moment of the Week: The liberals are attacking Rick Santorum and his wife for how they grieved over the death of their two-hour old son Gabriel, calling Santorum “weird” and “crazy” … First of all, who the hell are you scumbags to judge how anyone grieves over the death of a family member? … Second, what the Santorums did is exactly what the experts advise … Third, if this had been an abortion and they went out and partied afterwards, you would have found that to be perfectly normal behavior.

I would never wish on anyone the pain of losing a child, but if I saw Eugene Robinson or Alan Colmes walking down the street, the temptation to curb stomp them would be very strong … I would never do such thing. I’m just sayin’.

Some people mistakenly think I have some knowledge or something, so here are just a few of your recent Random Questions, Answered: Were Newt’s tears real? Certainly more so than Hillary’s from four years ago … Would you want Herman Cain’s endorsement? I prefer Pizza Hut … What is the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow? African or European? … Did a Navy Seal really punch out Jesse Ventura for badmouthing the U.S.? Yeah, but Jesse hasn’t been the same since he and Adrian Adonis broke up.

More Random Questions, Answered … Does BVP deserve the credit for Rick Santorum’s surge? No, but whoever produced the TV ad for Bob’s super PAC deserves credit for setting video production back 20 years … Do you think Kent Sorenson really threatened to burn BVP’s body, drag it through the streets and hang it from a bridge? No, I think Kent was referring to his own reputation when he allegedly made that threat …  Who ran the worst caucus campaign, Bachmann, Pawlenty or Perry? The Sarah Palin Earthquake.

Finally, now that the presidential circus has left town, it’s time to get back to the business of beating the real enemy, the Dems … Christie Vilsack brought in another big chunk of change from her liberal, out-of-state friends. She’s already raised over $1 million in her efforts to take down Steve King. We’ve got two very important congressional races and a ton of Iowa House and Senate races to win this year. Republicans, by all that you hold dear on this good earth, I bid you to stand, and let’s sweep ‘em all out this year.

Photo by Dave Davidson,

About the Author

Kevin Hall
Kevin Hall brings almost two decades of journalistic experience to TheIowaRepublican. Starting in college as a radio broadcaster, Hall eventually became a television anchor/reporter for stations in North Carolina, Missouri, and Iowa. During the 2007 caucus cycle, Hall changed careers and joined the political realm. He was the northwest Iowa field director for Fred Thompson's presidential campaign. Hall helped Terry Branstad return to the governor's office by organizing southwest Iowa for Branstad's 2010 campaign. Hall serves as a reporter/columnist for

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