May 16th, 2011

Pawlenty Picks Up Legislative Endorsement…

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Written by: Krusty Konservative
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Apparently State Representative Greg Forristall made a jailhouse confession last Wednesday after getting arrested for driving westbound in the eastbound lane on his way home from Des Moines. Forristall was smashed at 3:30 in the afternoon.

My sources tell me that Forristall told the Pottawattamie Sherriff’s Department that he is supporting former Minnesota Governor Tim Pawlenty for president.  He then asked if he could contact the campaign in hopes that Pawlenty campaign manager and legislative colleague, Erik Helland could come bail him out.

Helland not only has his own history of getting pulled over for drink driving, but he also have a history of bailing out Pawlenty staffers who end up in jail.  Helland has said that he’s “expendable,” but drunken staffers and legislators, he’s indispensable.

Forristall was guilty of a little more than driving down the wrong part of the road.  Forristall was so wasted that he made former legislator, Kerry Burt, look like a Boy Scout.  Forristall’s blood alcohol level was .276, three times the legal limit.  Burt on the other hand blew .129.

During the Burt fiasco, I wrote that the 275 lb Burt would have had to drink eight light beers in one hour to blow .120.   I used the same calculator to figure out what Forristall had to throw back to blow .276.  Now remember, that’s an actual blood test back at the station, hours after getting pulled over.  Anyway, to blow .27, Forristall would have had to down 24 ounces of Gin, folks that’s almost an entire bottle.

I guess the legislative session is really wearing on him…

I know that legislators all receive a state computer for them to use once elected, but I think the state should splurge and also arm these legislators with their own breathalyzer.  They only cost $70, but I doubt it would keep dumb asses like Dvorsky, Burt, Helland, or Forristall off the road.

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About the Author

Krusty Konservative
Herschel Krustofski is the pseudonym for the anonymous author of Krusty Konservative, a blog which focuses on Iowa Politics. Created in February of 2006, Krusty Konservative is the undisputed heavyweight champion of the Iowa blogosphere. Since its conception, Krusty Konservative has never shied from tackling controversial issues, and providing insight to the inner workings of Republican politics in Iowa.

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