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September 23rd, 2011

“Lots of Reasons” Mitt’s Miss Hits Are Not Smoother Than Neighborhood Dog S**t?

Sandpaper toiletpaper is smooth as it sounds. There is no way to spin the smoothness of sandpaper toiletpaper. Even if it comes in the form of a doggie pooper scooper from Gary Johnson’s neighbor’s dog.

Jason Noble of the Des Moines Register writes: So, there was another debate last night. Romney was smooth, Bachmann was nonexistent, Cain/Gingrich/Santorum wedged in a few points and everyone piled on Perry. Same old, same old.

Jason I disagree that Bachmann was nonexistent. I think you want her to be, but there is a larger problem with your fill in the blank first paragraph drivel… By the way the Washington Post thinks Mitt lost the debate.

Jason you are saying Romney was smooth. Where ever did you get that idea? Did you even watch the debate? Oh maybe you read the Register’s Kathie Obradovich’s article.

(Kathie I have come to appreciate your writing and opinion like an acquired taste the last few years, but allow me to pick apart a few comments you mentioned and respectfully disagree this time around as a way to illustrate my opinion on Romney’s miss hits from the Orlando debate Septmeber 22nd 2011.)

Obradovich writes: Romney is a smooth debater, and tonight’s effort was no exception. He had a particularly strong moment when asked whether he, like several of the other candidates, believes President Obama is a socialist. “Let me tell you the title I want to hear about President Obama, and that is former president Obama,” Romney said.

Excuse me! That was a strong moment? You have got to me kidding me. Am I being punked?

First, he didn’t even answer the question. Go figure. He is a politician after all. I wanted to know if Romney thought Obama was a socialist or not. I already knew Romney preferred Obama to not occupy the White House.

On being asked whether Obama is a socialist, Romney could have belted that answer out of the park. The question was a softball lobbed in toss with the wind blowing out of a miniature t-ball field. A big swing at this could have resulted in a legendary towering homerun. All he had to do is make contact and it would have been a goner.

Instead he chose to bunt and was thrown out at first. The only thing smooth about Mitt not calling Obama a socialist would be the grape snow cone he gets to lick up as consolation in the dugout after making such an embarrassing out for the GOP team.

Second, he didn’t say “one term president” because Michele Bachmann owns that phrase. You could almost see the hamsters in his brain whisper internally in his ear, “Shhh don’t say one term president, your consultant said not to use Michele’s term.”

Third, when exactly is this ‘former’ status supposed to kick in? It may be four years too late if Romney does not clarify.  What kind of leading candidate is Romney if he won’t drive in runs against Obama?  He definitely left runners on base.

Obradovich writes further: Romney didn’t have a flawless debate. He’ll live to regret saying, “There a lot of reasons not to elect me.” That line, which came in response to a jab from Perry about his past flip-flops, will live on in attack ads for months to come. But criticism seems to roll off his back, and he looks polished and natural even when delivering scripted remarks.

Okay where is Ashon Kutcher? I am being punked.

C’mon guys. Too funny… Nope? Huh. Yes I think he will live to regret saying that out on the golf course as a businessman with his buddies in 2013.

So Kathie you are saying that Romney saying “There a lot of reasons not to elect me” is going to be some kind of mere regret from a near flawless debate? Oh my, the opposition already had a video ad produced using Romney’s self deprecating, depreciating, defecating, asinine comment by the time Romney had his egg omlet breakfast at the hotel this morning. This debate will be forgotten, but not Romney’s miss hit.

Yes I agree the words in this phrase “There a lot of reasons not to elect me” will be a democratic anthem in attack ads until Romney concedes. It will be the text of best selling t-shirts too. It will also be free ammunition of the GOP field to remind Romney of his own endorsement of himself… “There a lot of reasons not to elect me.”

On a day where 35 straw poll vote getter, prez race quitting, Michigan Congressman Thaddeus McCotter endorses Romney and in the same fourtnight where Tim Pawlenty caved, compromised and cracked with the same pathetic conclusion, what endorsement is next? Are Jon Huntsman and Gary Johnson joinng the bandwagon next week when they see the writing on the wall with their own campaign and pick the current homecoming king to support merely because he is popular?

There is no doubt in my mind that after the disappointing Pawlenty broke the hearts of Iowa supporters quitting so soon from a poor straw poll spending strategy, he then left a throng of Iowa evangelicals in utter dismay when he drank the juice… The “Romney is our only hope of beating Barack juice” that leaves not only the candidate endorsee and Iowa GOP voters disillusioned, but also leaves that nasty cool aid after taste in the mouth of Romney.  With campaign quote killers like, “There a lot of reasons not to elect me,” what is not to spit out?

My advice is be weary of voting for Romney or anyone who claims he is smooth the same night he says. “There a lot of reasons not to elect me.”  Move over Obama’s “57 states” gaffe, Mitt now owns the stupidest quote in current American political history.  There is nothing smooth about it Des Moines Register writers so hang up your capes on this one and  quit trying to save Mitt.

photo by Dave Davidson

About the Author


Dave Davidson is the TIR artjournalism storyteller photographer and founder of (polite) presidential paparazzi with manners. He is the author of gobs of books including “Sarah Palin Inspires Me”, “Huckisms” and “You May Be A TEApublican”.

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