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April 10th, 2011

Kevin’s Korner: Shutdown, Florida, and Colbert

By Kevin Hall

Welcome to another edition of random thoughts, rhetorical questions and meaningless drivel… I’m coming to you this week from somewhere in the deep, dark recesses of sunny Florida, where I’ve been sent on special assignment by Keep an eye out for my upcoming series of investigative reports on Arthur’s theory of migrating coconuts.  No place better than Florida to study that, right? … The people here have been really nice.  I’ve only been called an “ethanol freak” three times.

I don’t understand all this fuss about the federal government shutdown.  Since when has the federal government actually worked effectively?  If they had shut it down, would we have even noticed? …  Actually, one group already noticed.  That’s our brave soldiers.  To prepare for the shutdown, they cut soldiers’ salaries in half.  And if they shutdown had gone through, our soldiers would not have been paid at all… Can someone please explain how the scumbags in Congress and the White House were still collecting their complete, cushy paychecks last week, while our soldiers only got paid half of what they earned?  How does Barack Obama look a soldier in the face and say, “Go fight another war in another Mideast country, but you won’t get paid for it”? …  On a related note, one bill that has not received a lot of publicity in the Iowa Legislature this year, but should, is HF 652.  It provides a state income tax exemption for Iowa soldiers on active duty.  There’s no reason our state should be pocketing any income from an Iowan fighting on the battlefields of a foreign country.  Anyone who votes against this has their priorities totally out of whack.  Let our soldiers keep their money.  They deserve it.

How did the “all or nothing” crowd in Iowa, and you know who you are, feel about their hero Mike Huckabee saying Republicans should not fight to defund Planned Parenthood in the budget bill showdown?  “As much as I want to see Planned Parenthood defunded, as much as I want to see NPR lose their funding, the reality is the president and the Senate are never gonna go along with that. So win the deal you can win and live to fight another day,” said the 2008 Iowa Caucus winner…  Huckabee also claimed no one was more pro-life than him.  Hmmm…  I wonder where Huckabee stands on Iowa Republicans’ attempts to enact a late term abortion ban.  Something tells me he would support HF 657 (formerly HF 5) and try to save as many babies as he could.  And he would be right.

A lot of people are making a big deal that Huckabee’s top two Iowa staffers have signed on with other campaigns.  Somehow, this is definitive proof for some people that Huckabee’s not running.  No disrespect to Eric Woolson and Wes Enos.  They’re good at what they do, but Huckabee won Iowa because of Huckabee.  And subliminal crosses.  When Huckabee’s top supporters start abandoning ship that will be the signal he’s not running… BTW, anyone who says that cross was not put in that ad intentionally is being dishonest.

Steven Colbert mocking Tim Pawlenty’s speech to the Iowa College Republicans was one of the funniest things I’ve seen in a long time.  New bumper sticker slogan:  “Vote T-Paw in 20 to the Twizzle!!”…  Too bad Comedy Central stole their video for the Pawlenty piece from, without asking for permission… For various reasons, I’m betting T-Paw refrains from using any more Charlie Sheen references.

It looks like all the presidential candidates are desperately seeking Chris Christie’s endorsement.  Can’t say I blame them, but if I were Christie I would stay out of it.  He’s an obvious frontrunner for the VP nod, for good reason.  There’s nothing for him to gain by backing someone until it’s clear who has the nomination…  Speaking of Christie, this is by far the coolest smartphone app created so far.

My friend Sgt. Jim Butler joins Harrison Barnes and Jon “Bones” Jones on my “When I Grow up I Want to be Him” list.  Not only is he a cop who proudly puts his life on the line to protect our community, Sgt. Butler will soon earn his second Masters degree, he is great guy, and he rescued Spiderman!  That deserves some kind of award.  Or appointment from the Governor.  Ahem…  Butler’s only drawback?  He looks a little too much like Big Debt Chet…  Two weeks ago, Dr. Mariannette Miller-Meeks told me she was a little worried about the Senate confirmation process.  She didn’t need to be.  They confirmed her 48-1 to take over Iowa’s Public Health Department.  Senator Jack Hatch was the lone no vote.  Congrats, Dr. Meeks.

The world’s biggest hypocrite, literally, must be Michael Moore.  After pocketing millions from a propaganda film in which he whined repeatedly about “counting every vote”, Moore thinks Wisconsin should not doublecheck its vote totals from the Supreme Court election.  Why?  Because the ultra-liberal he backed was initially ahead.  Now she’s not, and the lefties have gone loco…  Funniest line from this moron is also the Tweet of the Week:  “Repubs in WI r behaving like sore losers.”  Umm, when you win, how can you be a sore loser?

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About the Author

Kevin Hall
Kevin Hall brings almost two decades of journalistic experience to TheIowaRepublican. Starting in college as a radio broadcaster, Hall eventually became a television anchor/reporter for stations in North Carolina, Missouri, and Iowa. During the 2007 caucus cycle, Hall changed careers and joined the political realm. He was the northwest Iowa field director for Fred Thompson's presidential campaign. Hall helped Terry Branstad return to the governor's office by organizing southwest Iowa for Branstad's 2010 campaign. Hall serves as a reporter/columnist for

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