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April 23rd, 2011

Kevin’s Korner: An Easter message for Professor Lewin, Beck vs. Huck, and the Vilsack infidels

By Kevin Hall

Welcome to my weekly compilation of random thoughts and nonsense.  We’ll get to that drivel in a second, but first a special message to a very special lady…

Dear Professor Ellen Lewin:

In the spirit of this Holy Day, I want to send you my warmest regards and blessings for a Happy Easter.  I know you are busy celebrating the resurrection of our Lord and savior Jesus Christ, but I feel the need to tell you that your tolerant nature and wise responses have made me open my eyes to truly appreciate your valuable contributions to Iowa.    ELLEN, you have proven you are worth every single one of those $94,800 taxpayer dollars you receive each year from people like me and my fellow Republicans.

A huge amount of thanks and gratitude are also in store.  Because of your thoughtfulness and generosity, TheIowaRepublican.com received a record amount of traffic this week, the Iowa College Republicans got national media exposure, and you have turned out to be the greatest fundraiser they could ever hope for!!!  ELLEN, the Republican message that you are so fond of reached tens of thousands of new people, all because of you.  Thank you so much!

I am also so grateful that you informed us that the term “coming out” has been trademarked by one specific group, and no one else has the right to use it.  Your students must be truly blessed to learn the ways of the world from someone so wise.  In exchange for all the kindness you have shown to my fellow Republicans, I would like to introduce you to someone who agrees that one specific group’s message should not be hijacked by another.  Reverend Keith Ratliff is the head of the Iowa NAACP, and has a message specially for you, ELLEN.   You can read it by clicking here.  Happy Easter, ELLEN!!

Indubitably,

A REPUBLICAN

We now return you to your regularly scheduled program…. The Board of Regents and Iowa State University want to create a new public policy institute in honor of Tom Harkin.  I have a better idea.  Why don’t we build it in honor of the Easter Bunny?  They both come to Iowa once a year, promise lots of goodies for everyone, inflict all kinds of damage, then disappear.  The difference is the Easter Bunny’s damage can be erased with a toothbrush.  Harkin’s damage will haunt us for decades.

Funniest Line of the Week: Harkin’s spokesman says Commie Tommie is “honored by the proposal”.  Why’s that funny?  It was Tom Harkin and his wife who first made the proposal … Do the infidel Vilsacks really think they’re going to fight a “holy war” on Steve King’s turf and win?  What are they going to use as a weapon?  Obama’s policies?  Yeah, those are real popular in NW Iowa.

It took the impeachment resolutions against the Supreme Court justices four months to get filed, and four minutes to get rejected…  I respect freshman state reps Glen Massie, Kim Pearson and Tom Shaw for standing on their principles, but they are lousy legislators.  For one, the Judiciary Committee had already wrapped up its work for this session.  Why didn’t you file this two or three months ago?  … Secondly, what have these three accomplished legislatively?  Nothing.  Here’s a helpful hint… Build some consensus.  Work with, instead of against, the people who can help you get your legislation passed.  Or at least brought to the floor.

This won’t happen often, but I have to agree with the Dems on this one.  Sending Lt. Governor Kim Reynolds to promote “McDonalds National Hiring Day” was a bad idea.  These are not the 200,000 new jobs we’re looking for.  Move along … The same goes for part-time road crew work in NW Iowa.

Looks like HBO has another winner on its hands with “Game of Thrones”.  It will serve nicely to tide me over until “True Blood” returns on June 26thSookie rules!!…  The “Camelot” series on Starz is also very well done and a unique take on the Arthurian legend.  Not as good as this… but still good.

Quite an interesting feud brewing between Glenn Beck and Mike Huckabee.  Beck called the Huckster “a progressive”, due to his support of Michelle Obama.  Huckabee responded by saying Beck is “inept”.  Glen then called Huck “thin-skinned”.  The first one to say “I know you are, but what am I,” wins.

I had to laugh when I read that one of Bob Vander Plaats’ biggest backers, Rick Halvorsen, is worried Donald Trump will run as an independent and “split the vote and hand the vote to Barack Obama”.  Rick had no such concerns when he was pushing Vander Plaats to run as an independent for Governor, which would have split the vote and helped Chet Culver get re-elected.

Former New Mexico Governor Gary Johnson became the first official 2012 presidential candidate.  Word is Peter Tosh’s corpse will endorse him…  That’s still better than Gary Busey’s endorsement, who says he will back Trump even though The Donald fired him on “Celebrity Apprentice” last week.   Busey is way, way out there where the buses don’t run.

Apparently, 48% of Iowa Republicans believe Barack Obama was not born in the United States.    Seriously folks?  There is a legitimate birth certificate in Hawaii.  He’s a lousy president, but he’s not the Manchurian Candidate … Even Michelle Bachmann accepts that Obama is a natural born citizen.  Why?  Because she saw his… birth certificate.  Let it go.

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About the Author

Kevin Hall
Kevin Hall brings almost two decades of journalistic experience to TheIowaRepublican. Starting in college as a radio broadcaster, Hall eventually became a television anchor/reporter for stations in North Carolina, Missouri, and Iowa. During the 2007 caucus cycle, Hall changed careers and joined the political realm. He was the northwest Iowa field director for Fred Thompson's presidential campaign. Hall helped Terry Branstad return to the governor's office by organizing southwest Iowa for Branstad's 2010 campaign. Hall serves as a reporter/columnist for TheIowaRepublican.com.




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