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May 15th, 2011

Kevin’s Korner: Squirrel fryers, Ethanol flavored Tea, and Dump Trump

By Kevin Hall

Mike Huckabee is officially out of the 2012 race.  Who is the most depressed about this news? Evangelicals, illegal aliens, and convicted felons … It seems The Huckster would rather sell horrendously awful animated videos than become President.  Makes sense to me… How bad are Huck’s cartoons?  If NickJr. had one of them coming up next, Moose and Zee would tell you to change the channel…  What are you peddling next, Mike?  “The Lean, Mean Huckabee Squirrel Fryer”?

And what was with having that Donald Trump cameo at the end of Huck’s announcement?  FNC should fire Huckabee for the sheer lameness of that stunt…  At first, I thought bringing in Trump to speak at the Iowa GOP dinner was a good idea.  Huge name ID, tons of attention, should be an easy sell.  Now I think they made a mistake…  The Donald’s 15 minutes, at least politically, are up … He’s almost as bad a flip-flopper as John Kerry, got schooled by Obama on the Birther issue, and his poll numbers sank faster than Bin Laden’s corpse.

Earth to the Paulbots…. Ron Paul might be great on fiscal policy, but last week he insured he will never be taken seriously by most people.   Paul is either naïve, senile or weak when it comes to getting Osama Bin LadenMuch like his stance on gay marriage in Iowa, Dr. Paul is inconsistent with his own record here…  He thought it was OK to send massive amounts of troops and drop tons of bombs on Afghanistan to get Bin Laden.  He voted for that… Paul thought it was OK to hire foreign mercenaries to whack Bin Laden.  He pitched that bill twice…  But he says it “absolutely was not necessary” to send 25 Navy Seals into Pakistan to get Bin Laden.

Ron Paul thinks we should have left it up to the Pakistani government.  Brilliant…   This is the same government that was behind the Mumbai terrorist attacks which killed 186 people, including six Americans.  Running for president means you’re running to be Commander-in-Chief.  Ron Paul just made Barack Obama look like General Patton

I realized a few things while attending the Bon Jovi concert at a very hot Wells Fargo Arena earlier this week.  First off, I realized I liked Bon Jovi a lot better when I was 14.  Then I realized that was 25 years ago, which made me feel very, very old …  I also quickly realized the band is not the same without Richie Sambora, whose backup vocals make JBJ sound a lot better… Oh, and I realized Wells Fargo Arena sucks. But then, I already knew that.

So, Governor Branstad is talking about a “user fee” to help pay for Iowa’s crappy roads.  Some people took that to mean tollbooths.  He was actually talking raising the gas tax.  I like neither, but I think toll booths would be a better idea… Yes people will curse Branstad for installing them.  But we have three of the nation’s most prominent highways running through Iowa.  That means tons of out of state visitors and truckers.  Let them foot the bill.  Gas prices are high enough.

The Iowa GOP’s big money donors are headed to Jersey later this month to try to convince Chris Christie to run for President.  I agree with them that Christie is our best candidate.  I don’t think he’s going to run though… There are a few ways to view this… First, it shows the money guys don’t think the current crop of candidates can beat Obama.  And they may be right.

Second, although they say it’s not, Bruce Rastetter, Gary Kirke, et al, are sending a pretty strong rebuke to one candidate in particular….Tim Pawlenty.  He’s been campaigning in Iowa longer and harder than anyone, has assembled a huge staff with tons of insider connections, and is painting himself as the one who can unite the fi-cons & so-cons.  Robert the Bruce, he ain’t.  The big money guys are obviously not impressed.

I hope Ben Jacobson doesn’t leave Northern Iowa for Texas A&M, but I would also be happy for him if he got the gig.  Jacobson is a great coach and a great guy.  It would be a huge loss for Panthers…  Him leading UNI to their smackdown of the top-seeded Jayhawks last year is one of my all-time favorite sports memories.

Bob Vander Plaats’ trip to D.C. didn’t quite go as well as he planned.  Bob is now claiming to be a “Tea Party activist”, but his record doesn’t measure up.  BVP wound up having to defend ethanol subsidies during a press conference…  Making matters worse, the national media finally picked up on the fact that the Iowa Family Policy Center, which BVP oversees, received more than $3 million in taxpayer subsidies… Oops.  The Tea Party wants small government and less spending.  They’re against subsidizing things like ethanol and marriage counseling.  It’s hypocritical for BVP and The Family Leader to claim to be part of that movement and it’s ignorant for the Tea Party to let them make that claim.

Finally, it’s nice to see people know good work when they see it.  Imitation is indeed the sincerest form of flattery.  What’s next, Shane?  You gonna dye your hair red and grow a goatee?

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About the Author

Kevin Hall
Kevin Hall brings almost two decades of journalistic experience to TheIowaRepublican. Starting in college as a radio broadcaster, Hall eventually became a television anchor/reporter for stations in North Carolina, Missouri, and Iowa. During the 2007 caucus cycle, Hall changed careers and joined the political realm. He was the northwest Iowa field director for Fred Thompson's presidential campaign. Hall helped Terry Branstad return to the governor's office by organizing southwest Iowa for Branstad's 2010 campaign. Hall serves as a reporter/columnist for

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