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March 13th, 2011

Kevin’s Korner: Say it ain’t so Joe…or Chuck, Stickpins to the eye, and Sith Happens

By Kevin Hall

Welcome to our new Sunday feature, full of random thoughts, rhetorical questions and meaningless drivel.  Enjoy.

I’d never heard a Minnesotan say “ain’t” before last Monday.  I grew up in North Carolina.  Ain’t is part of the vernacular there.  In Iowa and Minnesota, not so much.  If you ain’t from there, you ain’t allowed to use it…  How bad was T-Paw’s faux pas Monday, calling Steve SchefflerChuck” three different times in a 10 minute speech?  On the bright side, Scheffler has been called much worse than “Chuck” lately.  On the other hand, if you’re trying to win the Iowa Caucus, STEVE Scheffler is a name you should know…  By the way, they don’t say “faux pas” or “vernacular” in North Carolina.  I wanted to use some fancy language and sound smart for the debut of this column.

A stickpin to the eyeball might have felt better than what Ron Paul’s press guy had to go through Monday in Pella.  Standing right next to Bob Vander Plaats, Paul told a throng of reporters that he has no problem with the Iowa Supreme Court’s decision on gay marriage.  It got even worse when the press guy tried to rescue Paul from his verbal diarrhea, to no avail…  The look on BVP’s face was priceless, too.   Ron Paul becomes the second candidate that we know for sure won’t get the FAMiLY LEADER’s endorsement.  Any guesses who the first is? …  Paul’s people are working furiously to spin it, saying he didn’t fully understand the question and has always stood against judicial activism.  Fair enough.  But watch the video.  If he didn’t understand the question, then he’s obviously unfamiliar with the situation.  That is inexcusable if you’re campaigning in Iowa, especially at a FAMiLY LEADER event.

State senator Kent Sorenson says he’s backing Michelle Bachmann in the Iowa Caucus, if she runs.   That’s a major coup.  The support of Sorenson and Congressman Steve King could do wonders for Bachmann…  Lefty commenters are calling Sorenson “irrelevant”.   I’m betting she would disagree…  I wonder how many free Godfathers’ pizzas it would take to win the Iowa Straw Poll…  The Washington Post’s Chris Cillizza says Bob Haus organized the 2007 Straw Poll.  Someone forgot to tell Bob.  And the guy who did organize it, some clown named Craig Robinson…  When I grow up, I want to be Harrison Barnes.  Even though I can’t stand the Tar Heels…  ESPN Classic has rerun the classic 2010 UNI-Kansas NCAA tourney game at least twice this week.  Love it!  Ali, bomaye!!!

Politico reports Big Debt Chet is one of the names being mentioned for next DNC chair.  If he could do for the Dems what he did for Iowa, Chet has my full support…   I’ve never watched “American Idol” before this season.  Now I am.  I’m not sure if it’s because of Steven Tyler or J-Lo.  Probably J-Lo.  I hope Casey Abrams wins.  Dude is ultra-talented…..  Speaking of Ultra, I saw Rick Santorum speak during lunch at last year’s Iowa GOP convention.  It was sad.  The lunch break came two hours late and people were hungry and worn out from a crazy convention.  Few paid attention to Santorum.   I couldn’t tell you one thing he said in that speech…  So, my expectations were low for Santorum at Monday’s IFFC event.  He was in a difficult spot, as the closer, but delivered better than Bruce Sutter.  Low key, but very powerful…  Nothing low key about Stone Cold, the Rock, and Sunny returning.  The Attitude Era is back!

BVP says “you’re nuts” if you say Mike Huckabee’s not running.  I say “Huckabee’s nuts” if he is running and using lines like this one:  “Most single moms are very poor, uneducated, can’t get a job, and if it weren’t for government assistance, their kids would be starving to death and never have health care.”  Wow…  Mike, are you trying to alienate the entire female population?  Not cool.  And wrong.  Most single moms I know are wonderful mothers who work hard, do not rely on the government, and would do anything for their children…  Huckabee also slammed Natalie Portman for being an unwed mother.  Doesn’t he realize she was an unwed mother when she conceived Luke & Leia?  And without that, the Sith would have ruled the galaxy for a thousand years?  That would be almost as bad as four more years of Obama.

Governor Terry Branstad walked into the Point of Grace Church auditorium Monday to a standing ovation.  What?  Diehard social conservatives who hold a “Christian worldview” giving a standing O to TEB?  Why?  R-E-S-P-E-C-T.  As our newly elected governor, he’s earned it, for the 5th time.  Another reason could be that Terry Branstad signed every single piece of pro-life, pro-family legislation on the books in Iowa…  Speaking of which, did you know the Iowa Defense of Marriage Act is still on the books? …  Senator Gronstal is the main target for the Iowa GOP in 2012.  Shoot, can I still say target?  Oh, crap.  Can I still say shoot?  This new “tone” thing has me totally confused.  Anyway, Republicans won both House seats in Gronstal’s Council Bluffs-area district last November.  So, the right candidate can beat him there.  But who will it be?

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About the Author

Kevin Hall
Kevin Hall brings almost two decades of journalistic experience to TheIowaRepublican. Starting in college as a radio broadcaster, Hall eventually became a television anchor/reporter for stations in North Carolina, Missouri, and Iowa. During the 2007 caucus cycle, Hall changed careers and joined the political realm. He was the northwest Iowa field director for Fred Thompson's presidential campaign. Hall helped Terry Branstad return to the governor's office by organizing southwest Iowa for Branstad's 2010 campaign. Hall serves as a reporter/columnist for

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