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September 18th, 2011

Kevin’s Korner: Rhetorical Questions, All for the Flag, and Landing on the Attack Watch List

Greetings and welcome to a “Rhetorical Questions Edition” of Kevin’s Korner.  I hope you all had a great week.  I did, despite being publicly called an Obama troll, liberal, liar, hater, disgruntled, ugly, bogus, inflammatory, a RINO and Obama-ite.  For starters.  My reaction?  Laugh and consider the source.  Let’s see who we can P.O. this week.

The Tea Party rally and Constitution Day came and went, yet where is the much-hyped Sarah Palin presidential announcement?  What fictitious date will the Palinistas set next?  How about Halloween?  Will she dress up as a presidential candidate then?

 “All this just for a flag”?  Did the First Lady of the United States really say that at a 9/11 ceremony?  Any lip readers out there?  Isn’t this the same woman who three years ago said for the first time in her adult life she’s proud of her country?  Do the Obamas really have as much disdain for this country as their body language shows in that 9/11 clip?  Could they be more disgusting?

Will these questions land me on their ridiculous AttackWatch list?  How about if I tell them to take their list, shine it up real nice, turn it sideways, and stick it straight up their America hating a$$?

Is Governor Branstad the best political strategist in Iowa history?  If you don’t know the answer, have you looked at his electoral record?  How ingenious was appointing Democrat senator Swati Dandekar to the Iowa Utilities Board? … Do people realize that not only does it give Republicans a chance to end the Dems majority, but fills the utility board’s Democrat quota with a pro-business, pro-energy member?  Are the whiny Dems serious when they ask why she would quit a $25,000 per year job for a $137,000 per year gig?

Is this moron typical of Ron Paul fans? …  Did some idiots really shout “Yes”, that we should just let an uninsured 30-year old man die during the last debate?  Any guesses which candidate those tools support?

Does Mike Huckabee really think Mitt Romney is the “most electable” candidate?  If he dislikes Romney so much, why would he say that?  Is Huckabee pining for a VP slot?  Did all the little Hucksters out there cry their eyes out upon reading that?

After two years of trying, was an endorsement the only way Tim Pawlenty could win over the Romney crowd?  … Who wants to bet that in exchange for his endorsement Mitt Romney agreed to help T-Paw pay off is campaign debt?  Didn’t Mitt do the same for Tom Tancredo’s endorsement four years ago?

Will T-Paw be able to do for Romney what Tancredo did for Romney? … Will Rick Perry’s new Iowa staff be able to do for him what they did for T-Paw? …  Will Dane be so mad at me for that last question this he’ll be able to fire-up his fantasy football team enough to beat me this week?

Rick Perry’s offended at $5,000, so how much can you buy the Texas governor for?  If I threw in a cowboy hat and a T-bone steak, would that be enough? … Or do I have to include a loaded baked potato? … How about all that plus season one of “Dallas” on DVD?  Or would $30,000 from Merck be enough?

Why does Michele Bachmann’s former campaign manager Ed Rollins have such a tough time saying he wants her to become President?  … Is it because she cannot help but continually saying stupid things?  Did Bachmann really “jump the shark” by not focusing on Rick Perry’s mandate and instead giving inaccurate information about the HPV vaccine?  How irresponsible were Bachmann’s claims about the vaccine causing mental retardation? … And if she did jump the shark, does that make her the Fonz?  If so, who is Rick PerryRichie, Potsie or Ralph Malph?

Could it be more hypocritical than a failed gubernatorial candidate whose entire campaign was based on an unconstitutional Executive Order to publicly complain about a governor who bypassed the legislature to issue an Executive Order?

Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?  Why does he live in a pineapple?  Can’t he find a better crib somewhere on Conch Street?  Does SpongeBob really hurt kids’ cognitive abilities?  Is that why Patrick is so dumb?  Personally, I think Patrick is smarter than he lets on.  And SpongeBob rules.

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About the Author

Kevin Hall

Kevin Hall brings almost two decades of journalistic experience to TheIowaRepublican. Starting in college as a radio broadcaster, Hall eventually became a television anchor/reporter for stations in North Carolina, Missouri, and Iowa. During the 2007 caucus cycle, Hall changed careers and joined the political realm. He was the northwest Iowa field director for Fred Thompson’s presidential campaign. Hall helped Terry Branstad return to the governor’s office by organizing southwest Iowa for Branstad’s 2010 campaign. Hall serves as a reporter/columnist for

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