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July 17th, 2011

Kevin’s Korner: Harkin’s Zero County Tour, Coyote Ugly, and Pledging Allegiance to Bob

Welcome to Kevin’s Korner.  But, follow only if ye be men of valor, for this column is written by a creature so foul, so cruel that no man yet has read it and lived….  Or something.  When in doubt, paraphrase Monty Python.

How bad did Bob Vander Plaats overplay his hand?  His pledge, his debate and his endorsement have been rendered all but meaningless….  BVP attempted a powerplay, but had about as much success as the 1980 Russian hockey team in the 3rd period with Jim Craig guarding the goal … The Family Leader’s “Marriage Vow” pledge has turned into a total disaster for BVP & his minions.  The only ones who signed it, Michele Bachmann and Rick Santorum, have their name attached to a ridiculous, inaccurate, and now-retracted reference to slave children

The rest of the field is saying “NO”, Austin Powers-style, to BVP’s ham-handed attempt to influence the Ames Straw Poll… Remember, to earn BVP’s endorsement, candidates have to sign the pledge.  All but two of them have told Bob to take his endorsement and … well, you know.

Now the question becomes, how many candidates will participate in The Family Leader’s debate in November? Why should they even bother?  Santorum might be out of the race by then, which makes BVP’s endorsement of Bachmann automatic…  Then again, it’s already automatic.  My clandestine, ubiquitous informants tell me Bob has been cozying up to Bachmann for a while.  Some of The Family Leader staff is already on board… And at the rate she’s going, Bachmann won’t need any help from BVP.

Odd Coincidence of the Week:  I’m driving toward Burlington recently and talking on the phone.  The person on the other end, who is also driving, tells me a coyote just ran across the road in front of him.  I told him I had never seen a coyote in person.  I swear, about a minute later, a coyote runs across the highway in front of me.  Very strange … Sadly, I didn’t see the Roadrunner, one of my all-time personal favorites, but the coyote was carrying some sort of container with “ACME” written on it…

Irony of the Week:  The best proof yet that Obama isn’t taking the debt seriously.  In the midst of all these negotiations on Capitol Hill, he appoints Big Debt Chet to a federal commission.  The former guv no longer has to sweat it out on the unemployment line… In no small coincidence, the same day he gets hired, Iowa taxpayers find out we’re on the hook for another $450,000 thanks to Big Debt Chet’s incompetence in the film scandal.

The soccer-bots are at it again, trying to get the rest of us who prefer real sports to watch this snoozefest.  When you make the goal about 20 feet wider and the game about an hour shorter, then I might watch.  Maybe… If I was forced.  Or bribed… I’d rather watch CM Punk, the best character on TV right now, in a fake sport.  Or Sookie.  Or QVC.

Congrats to Norwalk native and Pittsburgh Pirates star Joel Hanrahan for his MLB All-Star game appearance Tuesday night.  The announcers even placed his accomplishments this season on the same level as Dennis Eckersley.  That’s high praise… Of course, then an error by a Cub ruined things for Joel.  What a shock…

The big difference between Iowa’s two U.S. Senators… Chuck Grassley tours all 99 counties every single year.  Commie Tommy Harkin is sending a couple of staff flunkies to tour all 99 counties.   He’ll be sipping Mai Tais in the Bahamas, while his staff panders to a crowd of 6 old ladies in OnawaGrassley Works.  Harkin … Uh… What does this guy do again?

Christie Vilsack, AKA “The Abortion Queen”, makes her candidacy official Tuesday, bringing some made-up “Iowa values” she her campaign staff concocted after her “I’m Not Answering Any Questions Tour”.   Vilsack already has a motto for the campaign: “No Answers, No Solutions, No Clue, No Chance”.

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About the Author

Kevin Hall

Kevin Hall brings almost two decades of journalistic experience to TheIowaRepublican. Starting in college as a radio broadcaster, Hall eventually became a television anchor/reporter for stations in North Carolina, Missouri, and Iowa. During the 2007 caucus cycle, Hall changed careers and joined the political realm. He was the northwest Iowa field director for Fred Thompson’s presidential campaign. Hall helped Terry Branstad return to the governor’s office by organizing southwest Iowa for Branstad’s 2010 campaign. Hall serves as a reporter/columnist for

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