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December 11th, 2011

Kevin’s Korner: Geniuses, Hypocrites and the Kurse

Greetings and welcome to Kevin’s Korner. By the end of this, I’ll either be a genius or the stupidest human being who ever lived.

Actually, along than the prophetic campaign manager who said those words, I’m thinking some of the stupidest human beings who ever lived can be found teaching at Iowa’s universities. Earlier this year, a U of I professor launched a vulgar attack on the College Republicans. That backfired big time, bringing national recognition to the CR’s and more views than any article in history … Now, an Iowa State instructor criticizes the College Republicans for sending care packages to our troops who are in harm’s way in Afghanistan … Once again, major backfire. Donations went way up, as did our website traffic, again … Thanks, geniuses.

It’s always fun when the presidential campaigns call me …  Saturday afternoon, a very nice Ron Paul volunteer dialed me and asked if I had any questions about the Texas congressman. I asked him about Paul’s odd stance on earmarks … See, Mr. Limited Government requests billions of dollars in earmarks for his own district every single year, then votes against them, so he can claim he’s against runaway government spending …

The volunteer and one staffer had no explanation for this conundrum. Finally, another staffer was put on the phone. Here are a few of his explanations: “I know that he’s not the only one that takes earmarks” … “He has to play a little bit of the Washington game to stay up there” … “I agree with you it does sound hypocritical”… So, I got a Ron Paul staffer in Iowa (whose name I won’t mention) to admit his boss is hypocritical on earmarks and is indeed part of the problem in D.C. … It gets better.  After hearing all this, the RP volunteer gets back on the phone and starts questioning his own support of the Texas congressman … Someday, these campaigns will learn the damage I can do with one phone call.

I was back in the Kum & Go headquarters Wednesday, but this time without morning face … Fond memories. And nightmares for many Iowans. … This time, it was a Mitt Romney campaign event. Of course, Mitt wasn’t there, because this is Iowa. Chris Christie was trying to rally the troops for Romney. Instead, Christie made the crowd wish he were on the ballot instead of Mittens.

The lead singer for metal band Korn says President Obama is an Illuminati puppet. I’ve been hearing these rumors too. They want to establish a New World Order, but Hollywood Hogan is practically crippled, Macho Man Savage is dead (allegedly) and Scott Hall is in rehab, so Obama is pretty much all the NWO has left … I’m not worried. The Four Horsemen can more than handle the NWO.

Rick Perry caught some good news this week. He ranked second in a poll of readers at, a popular conservative blog. How did Unslick Rick announce the news? By proclaiming he took second in the “Hot Gas” poll… Seriously? Maybe Perry had too much Texas chili for lunch that day.

Rick Santorum says the candidates skipping the Donald Trump-hosted debate are hypocrites. I concur. They all wanted The Donald’s support, but other than Gingrich and Santorum, won’t do his debate. Michele Bachmann, in particular, earned Trump’s wrath. “You know who I’m very disappointed in? Michele Bachmann. She’s come up to see me four times. Four times. She’d call me, she’d ask me for advice, she said I should be her Vice Presidential… It’s unbelievable. You know, it’s called loyalty.”

Trump also co-hosted a tele-town hall for Bachmann’s campaign, which she heavily hyped as a “major announcement” … I hope the debate goes forward. A Gingrich-Santorum contest would provide more substance than any of the debates so far.

Did you know Newt Gingrich is the Kim Kardashian of the GOP? Apparently it has nothing to do with Newt having a badonkadonk … It looks like Newt agrees with me, that Diane Sawyer was a terrible debate moderator. Her slow, deliberate, droning and inane questions made me long for the good ol’ days of Jim Cramer.

Newt’s top two people in Iowa, Linda Upmeyer and Greg Ganske, say the Romney folks are getting “desperate”. I’ll bet you $10,000 they’re right. Mitt is in a real bind thanks to Newt’s huge rise. With Newt out to a huge lead in Iowa, South Carolina and Florida, and gaining ground in New Hampshire, Mittens can feel the nomination slipping away. Again. So his minions are out attacking Gingrich hard… Iowa is now a very important state for Mitt. He needs a strong showing here to slow down Newtmentum.

You sports fans out there are probably familiar with the Sports Illustrated cover jinx and the Madden Curse. Basically, they feature a player, and that player quickly struggles or gets injured … Well, Kevin’s Kurse is alive in well … Three weeks ago, I praised former Coe College star Fred Jackson. Hours later, he broke his leg and ended his best NFL season. Last week, I talked up Altoona native Kyle Orton. He then injured his finger on his first and only play as a KC Chief … Kurses.

I’ve done enough damage, so I will refrain from hyping up any NFL players this week. However, since I’d like my ’72 Miami Dolphins to remain the only undefeated Super Bowl champs in history and I’d like my friend Dane to lose to me in the fantasy football playoffs, I’m preparing a glorious tribute for a certain Packers QB in an upcoming column … The fact that Dane is also a Packers fan makes it even better.

Finally, it was great to have breakfast Saturday morning with some loyal TIR readers in Stuart. I was the featured speaker. Apparently, they were under the impression I would have something important to say. Boy, were they disappointed.

Photo by Dave Davidson,

About the Author

Kevin Hall
Kevin Hall brings almost two decades of journalistic experience to TheIowaRepublican. Starting in college as a radio broadcaster, Hall eventually became a television anchor/reporter for stations in North Carolina, Missouri, and Iowa. During the 2007 caucus cycle, Hall changed careers and joined the political realm. He was the northwest Iowa field director for Fred Thompson's presidential campaign. Hall helped Terry Branstad return to the governor's office by organizing southwest Iowa for Branstad's 2010 campaign. Hall serves as a reporter/columnist for

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