Merry Christmas and welcome to Kevin’s Korner. I hope you and your loved ones have a wonderful day and are able to take time to remember what this season is all about.
In the spirit of the season, I’m giving presents to those in the political world that deserve them. Whether you’re naughty or nice, you might make my list.
To Ron Paul: A stronger adhesive for those caterpillars you use for eyebrows.
To Ron Paul supporters: Sanity.
To Michele Bachmann: A watch set 15 minutes ahead of the actual time, or 45 minutes ahead of Bachmann Standard Time (HT to JohnDeeth). That way, you might show up when you’re scheduled to for campaign events.
To Herman Cain: A dose of reality. You keep saying you want to be Secretary of Defense. Good grief. Really? Herm, you’re a smart guy but have shown over and over that you know nothing about foreign policy. When you say things like you want to be in charge of our military, it doesn’t make you look so smart.
To Iowa’s evangelical political activists: Some fresh Democrat meat to chew on, because right now you are cannibalizing each other. The vitriol coming from some is unseemly, un-Christian and self-destructive. If the nonsense does not stop now, the effects could linger long after the presidential circus leaves town.
To The Family Leader: Some consistency. You hyped your endorsement for 11 months and put all the candidates through a dog and pony show, only to proclaim you are not “kingmakers”, but “standard bearers”. If that’s the case, you should have said so in the beginning. Now, your lack of a group endorsement looks like a cop out. Which is exactly what it is.
To Steve King and Tom Latham: Crushing defeats of Christie Vilsack and Leonard Boswell next year.
To Me: All I want for Christmas is for Drew Brees to post 46 points for the second straight week so my fantasy football team has a chance to rally from its 53 point deficit and win the Grassley Championship Trophy for the second straight year.
To the Kevin’s Korner readers who tell me I’m funny: Funny how? Like I’m a clown? I amuse you?
To Wendy Jensen: In honor of our sweet, departed friend, I’d like the Iowa GOP to create an annual award to the Iowa Republican Volunteer of the Year, named after Wendy. She deserves to be memorialized in such a way. Kudos to Iowa State College Republican Jeremy Freeman for suggesting it.
To our troops overseas in harm’s way: Our undying gratitude. You deserve nothing less.
To Jon Huntsman and Mitt Romney: I give you exactly what you deserve. Nothing.
To Newt Gingrich: A mind for organizing that matches your vast knowledge of history and policy. You should not be “still putting our campaign together” two weeks before the Iowa Caucus.
To Iowa’s GOP County Central Committees: A peaceful and well-organized caucus process. I know January 3 will be hectic and I know some counties can use extra help from volunteers. If you are available to lend a hand, please do.
To my friends (both of ‘em), family and all TheIowaRepublican.com readers: A happy, healthy and prosperous year, filled with much love and joy.
Photo by Dave Davidson, Prezography.com
blog comments powered by Disqus