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June 5th, 2011

Kevin’s Korner: Braley Trumps Bachman, Tom’s $2 Million Dinner Plates, and Rambo vs. Frankenstein

By Kevin Hall

Welcome to my weekly diatribe.  If you’re looking for witty scribblings, useful tidbits and valuable insight into Iowa politics, you should probably look somewhere else.  If you enjoy random nonsense, please continue reading.   This is the 13th Award –winning Edition of Kevin’s Korner.  The 13 is unlucky for anyone who read the previous 12…

The Sarah Palin groupies are salivating at the thought at her running for president.  I hope she runs, too.  Palin would definitely make the race more interesting.  But I don’t think she’s going to…  I did enjoy her totally overshadowing Mitt Romney’s announcement in New Hampshire…  Palin isn’t the only one teasing her fans.  Mike Huckabee told reporters this week that he hasn’t “closed doors” on a possible run.  Come on, Mike.  The Stuck on Huck-sters are having a tough enough time dealing with their grief.  And you keep stringing them along.  Can’t you just issue Pardon #1,034 and let all your supporters go…

Frankly, I’m sick of all these publicity hounds talking about running for president.  This week, Rudy Giuliani, George Pataki, Rick Perry, and Big Bird all gave hints that they might run.  And of course, the mainstream media laps it up.  Almost every single one of them has no plan or desire to run.  They’re seeking attention.  These are not the candidates we’re looking for.  Move along

The GOP State Central Committee came to a decision about the potential conflict of interest with their members also working on campaigns.  The resolution is fairly weak.  All they have to do is admit to the SCC that they are paid by a primary or caucus campaign.  The resolution passed 10-4.  Guess who voted against it?  Yep, all three SCC members who are paid staff by Ron Paul

They were joined by one member who correctly believes the resolution does not go far enough.  The platform committee needs to step up and end this nonsense at the next convention…  Kudos goes to Wes Enos, who is on Michelle Bachmann’s staff.  He did the right thing by abstaining from the vote and pledging to do the same with any vote dealing with the caucus.  Nice job, Wes.

I haven’t said one good word about Barry Bonds since he deserted my Pittsburgh Pirates in 1992, but he deserves praise this week.  Bonds pledged to pay the college tuition for the kids of the San Francisco Giants fan who was beaten into a coma at a Dodgers game…  A rare classy move from a guy who should be known as one of the greatest baseball players of all-time, but turned into a roided up freak with more bacne than the Ultimate Warrior.  Maybe if Bonds had painted his face, wore tassels on his biceps and ran full speed to the plate every time, he would be more popular.

I bumped into my friend Mikel Derby two weeks ago and he suggested we go grab a beer sometime in the next week.  Mike never called.  Then I read in the paper that he was part of the Iowa crew that flew to Jersey to have dinner with Governor Chris Christie.  Come on, Derby? Who’s more important, me or Chris Christie?  Oh… That hurts.

Jon Huntsman gave the most pathetic excuse of all-time for why he won’t run in the Iowa Caucuses.  He says he doesn’t want to waste time trying to win over Iowa voters who believe ethanol subsidies are a way of life.  Here’s a little insight for Mr. Huntsman and the national media: Not everyone in Iowa is a freakin’ farmer!!  And not all farmers believe in living off the government… Congressman Steve King, who represents more ethanol producers than any congressman in America, says we need to end ethanol subsidiesChuck Grassley says the same.  So does the Iowa Renewable Fuels Assocation.  Opposing ethanol subsidies is not a bold stand.  It’s not a deal breaker.  It’s a pathetic excuse from someone who knows he wouldn’t do well in Iowa for other reasons…

Our old guv Tom Vilsack just spent $2 million of taxpayer money on … a logo.  That’s right.  Vilsack’s USDA is scrapping the old food pyramid for a dinner plate.  Basically, someone drew a circle, divided it into four sections, and Vilsack paid him $2 million of our taxpayer dollars for it.  Brilliant… Hey, Mrs. Vilsack, here’s one of those “Iowa values” you’re constantly in search of, that your hubby never learned:  Iowans don’t like having their money wasted on stupid crap.

What’s worse than a presidential candidate no-showing a fundraiser for Iowa’s largest county GOP?  How about a congressman no-showing an event at the Iowa Veterans Home. On Memorial Day.  Yep, that’s Bruce Braley, already endearing himself to the folks in Marshalltown

Speaking of the Iowa Veterans Home, my clandestine, ubiquitous informants tell me that back in October, the Dems used some really disgusting scare tactics on the heroes who live there. In an effort to save Big Debt Chet’s reelection, they had their state union members (aka AFSCME thugs) trying to convince the residents that Terry Branstad would close down the Veterans Home if he was elected Governor.  It got so bad that the commandant was forced to intervene and order all employees to not discuss politics with the residents.  Hopefully, he did it “Full Metal Jacket” style.

The Iowa Democrat Party’s latest scare tactics involve sending a couple of union thugs to dress up as Frankenstein and stand outside the State Capitol as some sort of protest against the Republicans’ proposed budget.  I think the Dems dressing as Freddy Krueger would have been more apropos.  Their liberal policies have caused more than one Nightmare on Elm Street.  And Main Street.  And Hickman, Douglas, Grand

Of course, the Register (aka Democrat Daily) reported that the union thugs were just “concerned citizens”.  Our good friend at the Iowa Newz Liter found out the truth.  Yep, they’re AFSCME organizers.  What’s wrong guys?  Did the vets’ home residents get tired of your lies?  Next time you try a stunt like that with our veterans, we’re calling Rambo.

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About the Author

Kevin Hall
Kevin Hall brings almost two decades of journalistic experience to TheIowaRepublican. Starting in college as a radio broadcaster, Hall eventually became a television anchor/reporter for stations in North Carolina, Missouri, and Iowa. During the 2007 caucus cycle, Hall changed careers and joined the political realm. He was the northwest Iowa field director for Fred Thompson's presidential campaign. Hall helped Terry Branstad return to the governor's office by organizing southwest Iowa for Branstad's 2010 campaign. Hall serves as a reporter/columnist for

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