August 16th, 2010

You Must Be An Idiot

Mark Chelgren: Chelgren is running against State Senator Keith Kreiman for his seat in Iowa Senate District 47. Chelgren held a campaign event in the park this weekend where he provided live music and 20 kegs of Keystone, 5 kegs of Blue Moon, and 5 kegs of Sam Adams.

Chelgren defended his event to the media by saying, “Our founders sat around and drank beer and talked about how to make the country a better place. So to me, it was a very natural extension to talking about politics having a drink listening to some good music.”

He’s absolutely right. Plus, with Kim Reynolds, Erik Helland, Roxanne Conlin, and my good buddy Kerry Burt all having DUI’s, he probably think this is a good political move. If you are wondering why he’s on the idiot list then, it’s because he bought 20 kegs of Keystone. That stuff suck, but hey, it is Ottumwa.

Chelgren is also an idiot for not sending me an invite.

Glenn Beck: Beck says that gay marriage is no big deal, and that there are more important issues to focus on. Look, I understand that the dude lives on the east coast and has had his own problems to deal with, but his position on gay marriage means one thing, he’s not a conservative. A conservative would realize that the breakdown of the family has coincided with the rapids expansion of government in this country.

This commentary is really less about calling Beck an idiot and more about calling all of those people who idolize the guy idiots. Here is a simple rule to follow, don’t idolize members of the media, especially if they live on the east coast. People like Bill O’Reilly and Glenn Beck have made a ton of money being “conservatives,” but they are not social conservatives. That we know for sure by simply looking at how they live their lives.

Beck is an idiot for not understanding the simple premise that if we don’t support and live by traditional values the government will swoop in and take over the families roll. Fans of Beck are idiots for treating this guy like some kind of profit. He’s not. He’s just an uneducated alcoholic who can cry on demand when talking about how much he loves his country.

Roxanne Conlin: Roxanne was trying to earn the support of the Meskwaki Indians when she attended their annual powwow this weekend. I guess I don’t really understand how this all works, but isn’t the settlement its own sovereign nation? Oh, they just imply that so they don’t have to pay taxes and can build casinos.

Anyway, I want to know when Roxanne is going to spend some time trying to earn the support of regular Iowans? I forgot, normal Iowans don’t support her according to the polls we saw last week. Conlin is an idiot for believing that she could knock off Grassley this year. If she is willing to spend all of her money on something as useless as a US Senate campaign, what do you think she would do with our tax dollars?

Senator Tom Harkin: Tom finally got a glimpse of the drained Lake Delhi last week. Harkin, who is never a loss for words offered up the following analysis, “That’s quite a big hole there.” Wow, I’m sure all of those affected by the failure of the dam feel comforted after hearing your remarks Senator. Nice.

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About the Author

Krusty Konservative
Herschel Krustofski is the pseudonym for the anonymous author of Krusty Konservative, a blog which focuses on Iowa Politics. Created in February of 2006, Krusty Konservative is the undisputed heavyweight champion of the Iowa blogosphere. Since its conception, Krusty Konservative has never shied from tackling controversial issues, and providing insight to the inner workings of Republican politics in Iowa.

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