February 17th, 2010

The Krusty Poll

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Written by: Krusty Konservative
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Krusty PollDid anyone else think it was odd that Governor Culver’s abysmal polling numbers somehow avoided being the top story in the Des Moines Register? Heck, they were not even the top story in the metro section of the paper. Instead, they occupied the side column under the title, “Culver rating falls, even among base.” It should have read, Culver is getting his a$$ kicked.

Anyway, imagine my surprise when I saw yesterday’s Des Moines Register headline while walking into get a piece of delicious Casey’s breakfast pizza. In huge print was, “Iowans give thumbs up to medicinal marijuana.” I guess we can see the true colors of the Des Moines Register.

With the Register’s recent polls and people like TIR now in the polling business. I decided that I would commission my own poll. After talking to number of bartenders, convenience store clerks, and checkout people from Walmart here are the results.

1. 90% of regular Iowans think that the economy sucks.

2. 100% of regular Iowans think that both Republicans and Democrats suck.

3. When asked if they are members of the tea party movement, 40% think it has something to do with the new Alice in Wonderland movie that is coming out. Oddly enough, the previews kind of scares me.

4. When asked if they consider themselves to be progressives, 40% said yes, I get my insurance through Progressive.

5. When asked about what is the most important thing that the legislature will do this year, 100% said adjourn, just go home already.

6. 78% of those surveyed said, “Get that dumb %$#@%%^ %$#@&%[email protected] Chet Culver out of office.”

7. When asked if the Republican primary was held today, would they vote for Terry Branstad, Bob Vander Plaats, Chris Rants, or Rod Roberts, 89% said it doesn’t matter because we will just want Culver out of there. Strangely, the 24% asked if it was Rod Roberts or Rod Roddy from the Price in Right.

8. If the election for Governor were held today and the candidates on the ballot were Democrat Chet Culver, or Rod Roddy from the Price is Right, Roddy beat Culver 74% to 18%.

9. When asked if sick people should be able to smoke pot for medical purposes, 68% said, “cough, cough, I’m not feeling well.”

10. When asked, would you be cool if smoking pot for medical purposes was legal but you still couldn’t buy sudafed without an anal exam, 100% of respondents said Whisky, Tango, Foxtrot.

About the Author

Krusty Konservative
Herschel Krustofski is the pseudonym for the anonymous author of Krusty Konservative, a blog which focuses on Iowa Politics. Created in February of 2006, Krusty Konservative is the undisputed heavyweight champion of the Iowa blogosphere. Since its conception, Krusty Konservative has never shied from tackling controversial issues, and providing insight to the inner workings of Republican politics in Iowa.

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