November 4th, 2010

The Chicken Man Cometh

There have been a number of political leaders who have helped shape my political ideology. Richard Nixon taught me resilience. He also taught me to cover my tracks. Ronald Reagan convinced me that America was a special place. Bill Clinton showed me that Americans are a forgiving people. He also taught me that you’re better off to expose your own faults than letting the opponents do it for you.

Now there is a new leader emerging in Iowa, one that gives a new meaning to the word transparency. I’m talking about State Senator-elect Chicken Man.

I think I’m probably they only guy out there who really thought that Mark “Chicken Man” Chelgren had a chance to defeat Keith Kreiman. He first got my attention when he held a campaign event where he provided live music and 20 kegs of Keystone, 5 kegs of Blue Moon, and 5 kegs of Sam Adams. At first I criticized him for purchasing the Keystone, but it was an absolutely brilliant political move.

We all know that the Sam Adams was probably the first to run out. I bet Chicken Man intentionally limited the amount of Sam Adams so that he could determine whom he could really count on. Seriously, if someone sticks it out to drink all of that Keystone, you know they are going to the polls for you. He beat Kreiman by just 13 votes. Rumor has it that those13 votes were all cast by people who polished off the 20th keg of Keystone.

Darth Gronstal and Kreiman tried to undermine Chelgren by getting the Des Moines Register to expose him as Chicken Man. I’m sure they got a laugh when the story ran, but who’s laughing now? As I said back then, people are sick and tired of politicians who are unresponsive or think too highly of themselves. It looks like I was right.

I also said that I would apply to be his clerk… I don’t know how that is going to work…

The one thing that Republicans in the State Senate needed was a Senator who’s not afraid show that he has some balls. Chicken Man has shown that he is willing to do that even if they are pink and fuzzy.

I’m ecstatic that Chicken Man is Des Moines bound.

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About the Author

Krusty Konservative

Herschel Krustofski is the pseudonym for the anonymous author of Krusty Konservative, a blog which focuses on Iowa Politics. Created in February of 2006, Krusty Konservative is the undisputed heavyweight champion of the Iowa blogosphere. Since its conception, Krusty Konservative has never shied from tackling controversial issues, and providing insight to the inner workings of Republican politics in Iowa.

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