August 5th, 2010

Like Brett Farve, It’s Time for Krusty to Retire…

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Written by: Krusty Konservative
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I was shocked, SHOCKED, when I heard the news that Brett Farve was calling it quits.  Depressed and in search for a new quarterback for my fantasy football team, I decided to retire from the blogging world myself.

As you may have noticed, I’ve slowed down in my old age.  Like Farve, my keyboard just can’t handle two-a-days, and to be really honest, I’m a veteran blogger who doesn’t need to keep my skill set sharp.  Heck, I figure once Roxanne Conlin called me “influential,” I can blog on my own time frame and nobody else’s.

Just so you know, my retirement will be a lot like Farve’s, which means I’m not going anywhere.  Sorry, Taxanne.

All the scuttlebutt about Farve does remind me of one Iowa Politician – Bob Vander Plaats.

Just like Farve comes back to play another season every time you think he’s done, Vander Plaats keeps coming back season after season. Bob has about ten days before he has to announce whether or not he is going to run as an independent.  Just like Farve he will flirt with us up until the deadline.  Personally I think he passes on an independent run, tries to lead the marriage fight in Iowa, and ultimately runs for office again in four to six years.

Something else that’s on my mind…

I guess those Tard’s from Canada like Casey’s breakfast pizza as much as I do.  Alimentation Couche-Tard Inc.’s attempt to buy Casey’s really bothers the hell out of me.  The last thing I want to do is promote Tard breakfast pizza.  Heck, Sarah Palin will probably attack me for even using the “T” word.

Here are some things the people at Casey’s should consider:

Do you really think that farmers are going to want to hang out at a place called Tard’s for their morning coffee?  I doubt it.

I’m I really going to proudly pull out my Tard Card when paying for my gas and a slice of pizza? Not a chance.

Do Iowans really want to have two major convenience store chains with silly names?  We already know why Kum & Go t-shirt sales remain strong, butt imagine if you could buy a t-shirt with Tard on it?

I see a  T-shirt war in our future if this deal goes down.  Maybe Culver will grant them some I-Jobs money to help come up with new T-shirt designs.

Prop 8 Overturned

I’ve read a lot of comments on the Prop 8 ruling, but the one thing that nobody has addressed is that the marriage issue now becomes a major issue in the 2012 Republican presidential nomination.  Huckabee and Newt have already weighed in.  Expect the rest to join in the chorus in no time.

Chet Promises More Money to Schools

Just one question:  Where will it come from?

Chet promises Iowa educators an extra $120 million after he cut school funding by 10%.  So if he cut their budget by 10%, then promises to increase it by 4%, isn’t it still a 6% cut?  This guy is a complete idiot and is clueless.  Chet’s campaign bribe is no different than me promising every reader of this article will get $10 bucks.  I don’t have that much cash to spread around, but it might help with traffic.  I guess I will just have to deal with the unsatisfied customers later.  What a great way to run a state.

Heck, I wouldn’t trust Chet to go to the concession stand with a $20 let alone a $6 billion budget.

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About the Author

Krusty Konservative
Herschel Krustofski is the pseudonym for the anonymous author of Krusty Konservative, a blog which focuses on Iowa Politics. Created in February of 2006, Krusty Konservative is the undisputed heavyweight champion of the Iowa blogosphere. Since its conception, Krusty Konservative has never shied from tackling controversial issues, and providing insight to the inner workings of Republican politics in Iowa.

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