September 15th, 2010

Brain Suck

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Written by: Krusty Konservative
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“Instead of a brain drain we’re going to have a brain suck.”  Those were the words Governor Chet Culver uttered when he was talking about reversing Iowa’s trend of exporting the state’s educated youth.  I’m sure “brain suck” is a slogan that will make Iowa’s brightest want to stick around.

I don’t know about you, but a brain suck doesn’t really sound all that appealing to me.  For the life of me I have no clue where in the hell Culver came up with that phrase.  Maybe he met with that woman in Chuck Grassley’s new TV ad that is worried about Grassley having a twitter.  Grassley’s twitter commercial makes me feel all queasy inside.  I don’t know, its like those two ladies are talking about a sex organ or something.  Why else are they whispering?

Sorry, I get easily distracted.

Anyway, I’m trying to figure out what “Brain Suck” means and where Chet came up with it.

At first I thought it might be like having an ice-cream headache.  I know Culver has probably had a number of those.  You know the feeling when you drink your chocolate shake too quickly and it feels like your brain is going to explode.  That could be a brain suck, right?

I guess it could also be used to describe an abortion procedure.  As we all know, Culver is a big fan of killing unborn babies, he said as much at last night’s debate.

I’m really baffled.  I was taught that the opposite of drain was gain.  So then the opposite of brain drain would be a brain gain.  What a dumbass.

I think Culver’s “brain suck” might be what his entire administration will be known as.  The incompetence at all levels of his administration is staggering, so I guess one could say that his team has a case of brain suck.

Maybe Culver could name his autobiography “Brain Suck.”

If he is somehow re-elected, he could use Brain Suck as Iowa’s New Slogan to Welcome Travelers.

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About the Author

Krusty Konservative
Herschel Krustofski is the pseudonym for the anonymous author of Krusty Konservative, a blog which focuses on Iowa Politics. Created in February of 2006, Krusty Konservative is the undisputed heavyweight champion of the Iowa blogosphere. Since its conception, Krusty Konservative has never shied from tackling controversial issues, and providing insight to the inner workings of Republican politics in Iowa.

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