July 12th, 2010

Answering the Questions You Are Too Afraid to Ask

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Written by: Krusty Konservative
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You must be an idiot if you didn’t think I’d take the entire week following the 4th of July off.  I have a little rule that says if I get a Monday off of work, I’ll do whatever I can to take the rest of the week off because I’m not going to be worth squat.  So don’t be upset that I didn’t post anything, be thankful because it was going to suck.

Now just because I was gone doesn’t mean I wasn’t paying any attention.  I couple of pictures that I saw posted to this website caught my eye.  It led me to come up with another theme for a regular article.  I call it, “Krusty asks the questions you don’t have to guts to ask yourself.”

Here are this week’s questions that people are either afraid to ask or maybe just didn’t think to ask.

Question One: Is there a difference between walking in a parade and running in a triathlon?

Answer: Well there are some major differences between the two.  A triathlon involves swimming, biking, and running, while a parade is just a nice stroll down some major thoroughfare.  However, if you saw Chet Culver at the end of either event he would look amazingly the same. No kidding.

You see folks, the only difference that I can see is that Culver doesn’t wear spandex in a parade, which is a good thing.

Question Two: I knew that Roxanne Conlin was a big D, but is she naturally that big of a D?

Answer: Talk about awkward.  I think the only way we will ever know for sure is if we break into Dr. G’s office and see if she has been enhanced.  That said seeing the picture of her in the parade is like gawking at a traffic accident.  You know what I mean, it grosses you out, makes you sick, but you can’t help but notice.   It’s probably a good thing she doesn’t walk the parade route…

Question Three: The Des Moines Register is doing an exposé on people who live in crappy rundown mobile homes that have not been produced since the 70’s. Are the people who live in these shanties victims of society?

Answer: No not at all.

I’m sick and tired of the liberal media doing these kinds of stories that pull on people’s heart strings.  It’s not my fault you live with 500 cats or a piece of crap trailer. Don’t call me heartless either, it’s my tax dollars that pay for school lunches, food stamps, heat assistance, health coverage, and so on.  If you’re that bad off it’s my guess that you have had a hand in creating your own situation.

I loved the picture of the lady holding up the rust filled bath mat with that caption that she is worried that it could lead to her children getting disabilities.  Here’s a thought, if you have rusty water you could call a plumber, or if that’s not an option figure out how to fix it yourself, it’s not that difficult.  Furthermore, your bath mat wouldn’t be caked full of rust if you would clean it once in a while.

I also liked the picture of this woman staring at a hole in her floor where he kid fell through.  Yeah, that’s society’s fault too.  To be honest she is lucky that DHS doesn’t come take her kids or something.  Again, it’s not my fault that you have a hole in your floor or a leaky roof.  As I said above, we will help pay for heat, food, health insurance, education, and a bunch of other stuff, if you can’t figure out the basic human nature of securing safe shelter it’s not my fault.

By the way doesn’t anybody think it’s odd that the Register is up in arms about these living conditions but was ok with the little shacks that the homeless people in Des Moines build during the winter months?

All I know is that I think enough of my tax dollars go to help these folks.  Sorry that last one was more of a rant.  🙂


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About the Author

Krusty Konservative
Herschel Krustofski is the pseudonym for the anonymous author of Krusty Konservative, a blog which focuses on Iowa Politics. Created in February of 2006, Krusty Konservative is the undisputed heavyweight champion of the Iowa blogosphere. Since its conception, Krusty Konservative has never shied from tackling controversial issues, and providing insight to the inner workings of Republican politics in Iowa.

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