Dear President Obama,
It recently came to my attention that some in your administration spent $300,000 to update the file photo of Air Force One. I also hear that in doing so you caused many New Yorkers to crap their pants as the image of a huge plane streaking over lower Manhattan reminded them of the 9-11 terrorist attacks.
As an American citizen, I would like to offer my services in creating photos of Air Force One and the best part is that the plane never has to fly there. You see Mr. President, I have special software that allows me to place Air Force One on any picture you would like.
So where do you want to go Mr. President?
How about Des Moines! Look out the window, you can see Rep. Kevin McCarthy loading up his car. Many people think that his days as Majority Leader in the Iowa House are over.
What? You want to go to San Francisco. But we have gay marriage here in Iowa Mr. President. Ohh up want to see the Golden Gate Bridge.
Hey, on our way back we should fly over Mt. Rushmore. Sorry Mr. President, but your mug is never going to be up there.
What’s that, you want to fly over Chicago? Roger.
Hey, Mr. President. I bet your kids would get a kick out of us flying over Disney World. How about it?
What? You want to fly over Red Square?
OK, I have to get back to work Mr. President. What? You want to buzz lower Manhattan again? I don’t think that’s right sir… Well OK, you’re the boss.
Did someone say the Red Sea?
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