April 17th, 2009

K’mon Chet, Give Ed a Job!

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Written by: Krusty Konservative

chetandedFormer State Representative, gubernatorial candidate, congressional candidate, folk singer, accordionist, and neighborhood socialist Ed Fallon is a little upset with Governor Chet Culver. In an email sent to 7,000 or so liberal whack-jobs, Ed writes that Culver has not followed through with campaign finance reform or worked to limit urban sprawl.

I know this is going to sound a little crazy, but I have to stick up for Chet. It is true that Chet hasn’t done anything on campaign finance reform, and we still don’t know what he’s doing renting a condo in downtown Des Moines., but Ed is simply wrong on urban sprawl.

Since being elected, Governor Culver has worked tirelessly on killing the Iowa economy by increasing taxes and fees, which has run businesses and development out of the state. Heck, even after giving millions of dollars in incentives to IBM, Microsoft, and Google, they still refuse to do business in this state. What more do you want Ed?

It seems that Governor Culver and his staff think that all Ed really wants is a job and he’s probably pissed off he didn’t get to submit a few organic recipes for Mari Culver’s new cookbook. While we are talking about Mari’s cookbook, I’m buying that sucker. She has to be one hell of a cook. I mean, just look at Chet. And I also hear she makes a great smoked salmon, but I’m told you need a state trooper to hold it and while she smokes a carton of Marlboro’s while driving around town in state vehicle. Salmon + $60 carton of smokes + private security detail = one expensive meal.

Phil Roeder, Culver’s press dude, said that Fallon has contacted the governor’s office on several occasions asking for a paid position with a full-time assistant and support staff. Apparently, the job Fallon wants doesn’t exist, but hey, that didn’t stop him from applying to be the White House Farmer, also a position that doesn’t exist.

I don’t know, I kind of feel bad for Ed. He’s got to be more qualified than the Facebook experts and former campaign hacks Culver hired to run the Rebuild Iowa Office. I guess Ed might have to get a job on some road crew once Culver passes his bonding proposal. While I’m sure Ed doesn’t want to man the “stop” and “slow” sign on some rural highway, he would probably be the most entertaining flagger out there, and if he would take his accordion along with him, he might make a decent living.

I just wish that Chet and Ed could somehow restore their friendship back to how it used to be. I miss the stories about how Secretary of State Culver would stop by Ed’s house for a little sing-a-long. It’s difficult to watch two people you care about have it out publicly like this. We all know this could all be avoided if Chet would just give Ed a job.

K’mon Chet, do the right thing.

About the Author

Krusty Konservative
Herschel Krustofski is the pseudonym for the anonymous author of Krusty Konservative, a blog which focuses on Iowa Politics. Created in February of 2006, Krusty Konservative is the undisputed heavyweight champion of the Iowa blogosphere. Since its conception, Krusty Konservative has never shied from tackling controversial issues, and providing insight to the inner workings of Republican politics in Iowa.

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