October 19th, 2009

Culver a Triathlete? You must be an Idiot!

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Written by: Krusty Konservative

Chet RunningGovernor Culver is going to participate in a triathlon on November 15th. The robust Governor will sprint for 3.1 miles, ride a bike for 12.5 mile, and run for 3.1 miles.

Who’s with me thinking that Culver’s sprint and run will resemble more of a trot?

If you are like me you probably can’t wait to attend this momentous event. Well you better have some vacation time because you will have to travel to Florida to be able to watch the Governor shake, rattle, and roll. Des Moines has had a triathlon every since Culver has been in office, but he has bypassed participating in that event. I wonder why he’s all of a sudden heading to Florida.

There is no doubt in my mind that Culver’s campaign handlers have told him he needs to drop weight and get healthy. I also don’t underestimate Culver’s ability to drop weight quickly. He was a division one athlete, and while he has shown no ability or desire to keep his weight down before now, he’s in the political fight of his life.

With a bad economy, skyrocketing unemployment, a billion dollar budget deficit, and mismanagement of the Iowa Film Office, the only thing that Culver might be able to control is his own weight. Still, I think a lot of people wished that Culver cared more about getting the state of Iowa back on the right track than he cares about winning re-election.

Culver’s spokesperson, Phil Roeder, said a doctor has declared that Culver has a clean bill of health, giving him the OK to participate in the event.

Chet’s Doctor – You Must Be An Idiot.

Phil Roder – You’re full of $h*!

gloverMike Glover

Associated Press writer Mike Glover wrote an article about Christian Fong not being intimidated by Terry Branstad’s emergence into the GOP gubernatorial primary. Glover quotes two GOP operatives, Dave Roederer and Eric Woolson. Woolson is paid by Vander Plaats and Roederer is part of Branstad’s inner circle. Both said that Fong shouldn’t run. Shocker.

Nice work out of you Mike! There are only a million people you can talk to, but you decide to talk to Fong’s opponents. That’s like asking Mike Kiernan if he thinks Branstad should run. Come on dude.

Mike Glover – You must be an Idiot.

kiernan2Mike Kiernan

Kiernan, the Chairman of the Iowa Democratic Party makes the list again. DailyKos is out with a poll that shows that Terry Branstad beats Governor Culver in a head-to-head match-up. Looks like it’s not just those evil Republican polls that show that Chet’s in trouble. The poll shows that Culver beats Vander Plaats and Rants easily. The swing factor is independent voters. Branstad earns the support of independent voters over Culver, something which both Rants and Vander Plaats failed to do.

Mike Kiernan – You continue to be an Idiot.

Kathie Obradovich

Kathie, congratulations you didn’t make the list this week. Good job out of you for actually writing something for once that didn’t totally suck.

About the Author

Krusty Konservative
Herschel Krustofski is the pseudonym for the anonymous author of Krusty Konservative, a blog which focuses on Iowa Politics. Created in February of 2006, Krusty Konservative is the undisputed heavyweight champion of the Iowa blogosphere. Since its conception, Krusty Konservative has never shied from tackling controversial issues, and providing insight to the inner workings of Republican politics in Iowa.

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