November 7th, 2009

Are You A CULVERNATOR? Send Chet Your Calculator, He Needs It More Than You

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Written by: TEApublican

Culvernator 1_opt

Let me tell you the secret to mathematics… Do you know those numerals 0,1,2,3 all the way through 9?  The are always coming up again and again in different sequences when you account for them one way or another. The secret to math is that any sum, factor, dividend, equation, etc. will always be some combination of those numerals 0 through 9 every time.

Not surprised? Me neither really.  Well then how come Chet Culver has so much trouble with that?

Its time we send him a message ourselves… A message he can add up to sum up how fed up we are about his number running reporting and regretting. In peaceful protest I say we send Chet at least 2010 calculators this Christmas season alone.  His staff can count them up and give back to schools filled kids he has overextended and over taxed for the next generation.  Recycle that Chet! Now that is what I call going green Iowa.

It seems that whenever Chet Culver cites key financial numbers relevant to reporting to the people of Iowa how their state government spends money the figures are either incorrect, inconsistent or incongruous to the truth.  Yep its a silly thing about those numbers 0 through 9, they keep coming up again and again.

Past TIR articles-

Audit of SOS Office Shows Culver has a History of IncompetenceChet Culver’s Budget Crisis

I’m tired of giving Chet Culver the benefit of the doubt. Its time to show him the power of clout, which is in the voter’s of Iowa in the next election.Okay so you’ve read about this reoccurring problem before.  All summer long republican gubernatorial candidates like Christopher Rants and front runner Bob Vander Plaats have also called Culver out about numbers in press release after press release. So what can you do about it?  What can we do about it?  How will we respond? Is their anything we can do?

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Are You A CULVERNATOR? Anyone Who Helps Terminate Chet Culver’s Chances For A Second Term As Iowa Governor!

Well as a “TEApublican” I propose we take a page out of the tea party play book and make a relevant peaceful protest.  During tax season last April Americans sent tea bags to congressmen.  Let’s mail our old, unused or even brand new calculators to Chet Culver so he can get the message that Iowans will hold him accountable to reporting truthful numbers and running more responsible numbers.

You can send your calculator and a note of protest to this address:

You can also follow the Culvernator “fan page” at facebook and add your own angst there currently linked at

Send your calculator to his campaign address at
Chet Culver
PO. Box 6068, Des Moines, Iowa 50309

or at his days are numbered day job at

Office of the Governor & Lt. Governor
State Capitol  |  1007 East Grand Ave.  |  Des Moines, Iowa 50319

Imagine if Chet Culver had as much passion to run Iowa responsibly as the these twin brothers in a SNL Christmastime skit about calculators with guest host actor John Malkovich.  If you haven’t seen it yet I highly recommend  you click the clip link above and enjoy watching it.  Its even mild enough for the whole family to watch for once.  I only wish Iowa economics were as gentle on my kids for the upcoming years as this SNL Christmas clip.

The instances where Culver and numbers clash for competence seem as infinite as the solution to pi 3.14 and so on. Consider the following section of information complied by Iowa Republican Party chairman Matt Strawn:

Fact Chet

Statement from Governor Culver

“We are on the road to economic recovery, and our job creation efforts continue,” Culver said. Source: Des Moines Register, 9-26-09. Click here.

Fact Check

Statement from Iowa State University Economist David Swenson, “Until jobs start expanding in the state, it’s ridiculous to say we’re in a recovery.”

Source: Des Moines Register, 9-17-09. Click here.

According to Culver’s own Iowa Workforce Development agency, Iowa’s unemployment rate climbed in August, 2009 to 6.8 percent, from 6.5 percent in July and 4.2 percent a year earlier.

The number of unemployed Iowans grew to 114,000 in August. That is 5,700 more than in July and 43,900 more than a year ago.

The August report showed job losses were slowing in Iowa, but experts said the state’s unemployment problems will continue.

FACT CHET: a periodic fact check report published to bring clarity to the frequent misstatements, misunderstandings, and outright deceptions coming from Governor Culver and his office. Republicans are ready to restore fiscal sanity to our state. Recently the Republican Party of Iowa rolled out our Iowa Family Budget Initiatives—a series of solutions to prevent control state spending and protect taxpayers.  We’re ready to implement those solutions if voters give us the opportunity. To learn more about RPI ideas, click here.

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About the Author

Dave Davidson is the TIR artjournalism storyteller photographer and founder of (polite) presidential paparazzi with manners. He is the author of gobs of books including "Sarah Palin Inspires Me", "Huckisms" and "You May Be A TEApublican".

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