April 13th, 2009

A Gay Marriage Residency Requirement: Do Onto Others…

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Written by: Battleground Iowa

By Emily Geiger

Imagine with me for a moment a hypothetical situation.

Suppose that evil liberal neighbor of ours, Illinois (home of Barack Obama, need I say more) had their evil liberal state supreme court issue a ruling stating that homosexual marriage was now allowed in Illinois. The ruling was to become effective in about three weeks, and the Illinois legislature was still in session and could, if faced with enough pressure, issue a few restrictions on these blasphemous unions before going home for the year. The Illinois governor (Blago’s successor, whoever he is) has said he won’t do anything to challenge the court ruling, but he is open to signing a law that would limit marriage in Illinois to Illinois residents only.

Imagine there were about 1500 to 3000 gay couples from Iowa who were making plans for weekend getaways to Illinois because Illinois (hypothetically) doesn’t currently have any residency restrictions for who can get married in their state.

The Iowa Family Policy Center, the Iowa Christian Alliance, and some other self-proclaimed conservative leaders from Iowa are up in arms because they know what these few thousand gay Iowans are planning. They anticipate that these gay Iowans are going to go get married in Illinois and then come home and wreak havoc on our fine state’s laws in trying to get their unions (and divorces) recognized here, not to mention trying to change our inheritance laws and trying to force their employers to cover their new (high health risk) “spouses” on their company insurance plans.

Wouldn’t these conservative Iowans want those stupid people in Illinois to at least try to do something so that the rest of us don’t have to suffer because of the moral cesspool that is (hypothetically) Illinois?

Wouldn’t these conservative Iowans be pretty, um, ticked-off, if the “conservative” leaders in Illinois who were trying to combat this problem had decided to throw the rest of the states, including Iowa, under the bus because, in their minds, this whole residency thing is just a side issue that they can’t be bothered with since they are busy trying to pass a constitutional amendment that they (hypothetically) won’t be able to pass anyways for at least three years?

Wouldn’t these conservative Iowans be raising bloody hell trying to convince our neighbors not to inflict this moral catastrophe on us? Wouldn’t we be reminding them that the residency issue is exactly why (hypothetical) billionaire gay-rights advocate Gim Till from that (hypothetical) western mountain state of Dolorado picked Illinois as his pet project in the first place… because he wanted to use Illinois to export gay marriage all across America? Wouldn’t we be telling our brethren in Illinois not to let Mr. Till win that battle and succeed in that part of his plan?

Wouldn’t we be reminding our friends in Illinois that, even if they successfully defeat gay marriage in their state down the road with an amendment, they could be responsible for the legalization of gay marriage in other states because they couldn’t be bothered with a simple residency requirement? Wouldn’t we be pointing out that this battle is a lot bigger than just what is happening in their state… that this is really a nationwide battle for the soul of our country?

Wouldn’t we be asking our friends across the river to treat their neighbors as they would wish to be treated?

Perhaps we wouldn’t, because it seems like there are a few conservative leaders in Iowa who have forgotten that commandment.

About the Author

Battleground Iowa
Emily Geiger writes from a conservative perspective on everything from politics to religion to pop culture. Like the original Emily of Revolutionary War era, this Emily is delivering important messages crucial to winning the raging war of the time, but today, this is a culture war rather than a traditional one. And, like the original Emily, sometimes it takes a woman to do (or say) that which lesser men lack the courage and tenacity to do.

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